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4/8/2012 c1 63RedactedNoLongerWriting
I think this is a really cool interpretation of the prompt! It's very in-the-moment and I think you captured the awe of the setting really well.

I really liked how you used so much sensory detail about what the narrator was seeing. This was Mount Everest? Or I suppose it could've been any mountain, really, and still been really memorable. It's cool how you described the curve of the earth and how it's like being right at the edge of heaven and earth. It really got me thinking.

Great job and good luck in WCC! :)
4/7/2012 c1 4lookingwest
Wow what a sensory piece! I almost see this as a flash fiction more than an actual short story and I really like that-there aren't many submissions ever like this. The length was unique and I think because of that you were able to put in a lot of poetic qualities detailing the setting-which I feel was pretty much the main character, if not equal with the narrator. It took me a discussion with someone else to kind of grasp at how this fit into the prompt-I think this is one of the first pieces that has ever stumped me while I was reading to try to piece it together, but I've come to a conclusion it's saying something about the constrains of humankind and nature. Or I guess it's just mankind in your piece, so it doesn't apply to me ;D.

Anyway, loved the last sentence and I loved the beginning-even though it's not explicitly said, I was envisioning a Mt. Everest situation, which is why I felt it also had to do with pain too-because I would imagine it as a strenuous experience. I think you capture that well. Wonderful visual and sensory piece you have here, and I didn't find any editing problems or anything during my read either-very smooth!

Good luck in the WCC!

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