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4/21/2012 c2 75WolfletteMoon
And the plot thickens. I like how you're adding in the characters' back-story slowly rather than giving it to us straight away in one great big info-dump, it gives us chance to get to know the characters properly, like we would a real person.

Now I'm very interested to know where this is going, since it's starting to become evident that something is up. I just hope you can come up with something unique and original, as there are a lot of 'something funny in a school/jail/hospital/lab' stories about and I'd like to see you put your own spin on this. I think that you could do a really good job of this.

A little note on psychology here, whilse I do not know much about OCD, I have done a fair amount of research into eating disorders and a lot of sources have shown perfectionism and need for control to be a big factor in them, and I suspect it's also got some involvement in OCD, though I'm not sure. It would be interesting to see how you write the perfectionist aspects of EDs and the almost compulsive need to loose weight, especially given the co-morbidity with OCD that you've given the character.
4/18/2012 c1 WolfletteMoon
This is interesting, and I'd like to see where it's going. The characters seem intersting enough.

Your grammar and spelling seem pretty good, so no issues there.

However, I do need to nitpick a few things. Manic Depression and Bipolar Disorder are two different name for the same thing, and only Bipolar Disorder should be listed (since it would be rather redundant to list it twice)

Second, I don't remember too well so I can't say for sure, but I think the ICD 10 is a bit sketchy about diagnosing both Bipolar and Schizophrenia and the DSM-IV specifies the "exclusion of mood disorders" (i.e. Bipolar) in the diagnosis criteria, so while it probably is possibl that she has both it's unlikely that both would be diagnosed, so you may want to look into that.

Furthermore, I would suggest specifying wat type of schizophrenia she has - it seems to me like you're going for the standard paranoid schizophrenia, which is the most common type, but a hospital would probably be a bit more specific.

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