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7/26/2012 c2 1Anisthasia Zewi Cortexz
Look's Kool! update soon!
7/8/2012 c2 Rogue Energizer Bunny
I like it! Much better. It seems much more mature and thought-out.
6/7/2012 c1 walls-have-ears
That was quite good, the tragic ending was pretty goodtoo.
5/18/2012 c1 7Anna Rosa
Firstly, just want to apologize for not getting back to you sooner; I've been a little busy with personal matters.

Now that that's out of the way, I would like to say that you've got a good idea going on here, but it's very hard to say much in way of a comprehensive review of such a short story. I, for one, would like to see it expanded into a bigger work; because the image of the Beaker hauling it's broken body toward the man was simply terrifying.

Almost undead-like.

Keep it up, and re-write this, seriously. I want to see more.

-Anna
4/21/2012 c1 Rogue Energizer Bunny
I love this! Good job.

I used to be in a contest where you only had 40 minutes to write a narrative. Timed writing is hard.

I love the last line. Watch out for repetition, though. "The man ran through the alley, getting slower with each step. A sharp dagger of pain jolted his right kidney, slowing him down with each step" you repeated "with each step", see. It's hard to catch those in timed writing, I know. I've repeated the same freaking sentence in some of my stories.

-REB

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