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for Team Naviance

6/8/2012 c7 Religious Gamer
I'm sixteen in 2015, so hooray! I live!

Now wat...

Darn it, Jacob and Bernardo died. One woman army shall march to the park...
5/5/2012 c5 1ReligiousGamer
Noooooo...*crawls in agony* That damn MatureNight! I'll mature you, you'll see...*shakes fist at evil MatureNight gas* I'm thirteen, so ha ha!
4/30/2012 c1 Indicates
[We live in a world where we have no freedom. The government that you so desperately depend on to keep you safe now wants everyone in the world dead.]

Why? Because they're evil?

Look, its already a cliche to begin with, and as it stands, I can debunk it easily. So if they want to wipe everyone out, where does that leave them?

[We live in a world where it's normal for somebody to murder someone in public. We live in a world where the average age to get pregnant is sixteen.]

Its already a common occurence in most parts of the world that things like this happen. Although I'll accept this over the next line that mentions there's nothing around for miles because of how bad the pollution is. If its that bad where nothing is alive and its just baren waste, how are people still alive? How is there a government supressing people?

I think the prologue could be more interesting if it wasn't taking up a pretentious voice, and if the over-the-top evil and angst was toned down a lot. I could buy that mistakes have been made. I could buy that a nuclear fallout occured in order to wipe out a percieved threat that as a result almost wiped the whole planet. What I can't buy is that the government is evil because they're evil, and a world that is virtually uninhabitable that still has a supressive evil government.
4/29/2012 c4 ReligiousGamer
Weighing the risks and rewards of possible death. Navi is certainly the brave one.
4/28/2012 c2 leppalo
I like where this is going. The narration is brilliantly told and seems somewhat realistic. Added to favorites

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