for The Alphabetic System6/8/2012 c3 Shay
Still reading! I like the fact that Cameron doesn't like Leah because she's so fake. The part about Jessica sewing her own dress because Karen only gave her ugly ones so that her daughter would look better is such a cliche, but I still like it. Onto chapter 4!
Still reading! I like the fact that Cameron doesn't like Leah because she's so fake. The part about Jessica sewing her own dress because Karen only gave her ugly ones so that her daughter would look better is such a cliche, but I still like it. Onto chapter 4!
6/8/2012 c2 Shay
Still reading. The biggest flaw I noticed was that, Jessica was the only one seen entering & exiting the home that her mother was found dead in. This would make Jessica a prime suspect for murder, especially since her mother was in the middle of packing, which would hint that she had no intention of killing herself. Other than that, would Jessica's mom really have a lawyer? After all, she didn't have much money & what need would she have for one? & I'm guessing the Klein's are like Donal Trump or something, otherwise why would them adopting Jessica warrant such publicity? Just some things I observed, onto chapter 3!
Still reading. The biggest flaw I noticed was that, Jessica was the only one seen entering & exiting the home that her mother was found dead in. This would make Jessica a prime suspect for murder, especially since her mother was in the middle of packing, which would hint that she had no intention of killing herself. Other than that, would Jessica's mom really have a lawyer? After all, she didn't have much money & what need would she have for one? & I'm guessing the Klein's are like Donal Trump or something, otherwise why would them adopting Jessica warrant such publicity? Just some things I observed, onto chapter 3!
6/8/2012 c1 Shay
I like the story so far! Onto chapter 2! :)
I like the story so far! Onto chapter 2! :)
6/8/2012 c4 
5Elizabeth Drake
This is really well written and I see no mistakes. The chapters are a brilliant length. Your writing style is excellent and I was compelled to read on.
5Elizabeth DrakeThis is really well written and I see no mistakes. The chapters are a brilliant length. Your writing style is excellent and I was compelled to read on.
6/8/2012 c4 1leavesfallingup
I have a feeling that the outcome of this story will be sad for Raphael. Alas, drama is never kind.
Great story thus far.
1leavesfallingupI have a feeling that the outcome of this story will be sad for Raphael. Alas, drama is never kind.
Great story thus far.
6/8/2012 c4 Cooper
This is my favorite chapter so far. Raphael and Jesica are so cyte!
This is my favorite chapter so far. Raphael and Jesica are so cyte!
6/8/2012 c2 Cooper
Leah is so...ugh! I actually hate her even though she's not real.
Leah is so...ugh! I actually hate her even though she's not real.
6/8/2012 c1 Cooper
I can't log in, but when I do, just know I'm subbing you. I love it when I find a promising story. Don't ever stop writing.
I can't log in, but when I do, just know I'm subbing you. I love it when I find a promising story. Don't ever stop writing.
6/8/2012 c4 SwimmingThroughExistance
great chpter. are you gonna make the boys vie for jessica's attention? that would be pretty funny... except i ADORE jessica with raphael. i hope to see that couple happen. sorrry, fiction press isn't letting me login.
great chpter. are you gonna make the boys vie for jessica's attention? that would be pretty funny... except i ADORE jessica with raphael. i hope to see that couple happen. sorrry, fiction press isn't letting me login.
6/7/2012 c3 LikeAppleLove
dun duh dun the plot thickens! i really liked this it's very hard to guess what's going to happen next i like the different povs. I'm not sure if i like cameron yet but i definatly like raphael a lot! Anyway UPDATE SOONi WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. xxx
dun duh dun the plot thickens! i really liked this it's very hard to guess what's going to happen next i like the different povs. I'm not sure if i like cameron yet but i definatly like raphael a lot! Anyway UPDATE SOONi WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. xxx
6/4/2012 c3 leavesfallingup
Is there going to be a love triangle between Jessica, Raphael, and Cameron? Since Leah has failed to capture Cam's interest, will his focus turn to Jessica? He seems well-grounded with a lot less of the arrogance perpetuated by his mother, his aunt, and the Kleins.
Then again, if she turns the attention of Cam away from Leah, she will need to guard her life
I liked the "Too many Too's" That is a clever way to put it.
Write more soon?
Is there going to be a love triangle between Jessica, Raphael, and Cameron? Since Leah has failed to capture Cam's interest, will his focus turn to Jessica? He seems well-grounded with a lot less of the arrogance perpetuated by his mother, his aunt, and the Kleins.
Then again, if she turns the attention of Cam away from Leah, she will need to guard her life
I liked the "Too many Too's" That is a clever way to put it.
Write more soon?
6/4/2012 c2 leavesfallingup
There seems to be a lot of questionable deaths behind the scenes. Jessica should watch her back. The whole fatherhood question continues to loom, which raises questions in and of itself.
You are weaving a fascinating story.
There seems to be a lot of questionable deaths behind the scenes. Jessica should watch her back. The whole fatherhood question continues to loom, which raises questions in and of itself.
You are weaving a fascinating story.
6/4/2012 c1 leavesfallingup
A good beginning. It does make me wonder what the tie-in is with Jessica and the Kleins. Is she the illigitimate daughter of Mr. Klein? Or perhaps tied in further up the food chain?
Anyway, it promises to be an interesting story.
A good beginning. It does make me wonder what the tie-in is with Jessica and the Kleins. Is she the illigitimate daughter of Mr. Klein? Or perhaps tied in further up the food chain?
Anyway, it promises to be an interesting story.
6/4/2012 c3 Hi there
This was a great read. Update soon.
This was a great read. Update soon.