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for Forever You and Me

9/12/2012 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I really liked the voice that you used in this piece, I thought that you personalized it with a lot of moving phrases, and I also liked how you kept the same voice throughout the piece. It was very calm, and reflective.

I didn’t really care for using a comma after every line. This is what I would classify as ‘free verse’ and the only time you really have to have so many commas are with sonnets and things of that nature. I think that it interrupts the flow of the narration by having one at the end of every line – a few here and there are necessary, but beyond that it can weight a poem like this down.

Much love,
5/13/2012 c1 80Sami Dial
sad. but true.

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