for Open Your Eyes6/28/2012 c1 
31Who Is This Girl Anyway
The repetition of "Open your eyes" was interesting as it seemed a little ethereal, maybe even ghostly. I wondered who was meant to be speaking to the narrator; the wind, herself, God, any of these could fit.
Your last bits of imagery towards the end were so beautiful, and I loved the personification you used for the trees. My only criticism for this is that I didn't see more of that beautiful imagery. I also think it would be interesting for you to address different senses, for example touch. Is the water around her ankles hot or cold? Can she smell flowers? Hear the wind? Things like that could add an extra dimension to this.
Katie.
31Who Is This Girl AnywayThe repetition of "Open your eyes" was interesting as it seemed a little ethereal, maybe even ghostly. I wondered who was meant to be speaking to the narrator; the wind, herself, God, any of these could fit.
Your last bits of imagery towards the end were so beautiful, and I loved the personification you used for the trees. My only criticism for this is that I didn't see more of that beautiful imagery. I also think it would be interesting for you to address different senses, for example touch. Is the water around her ankles hot or cold? Can she smell flowers? Hear the wind? Things like that could add an extra dimension to this.
Katie.