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for Saving Ally

5/23/2012 c1 3dream-beautiful
Okay, about Ally's appearance: you call her plain and then you say she has bold red hair. That makes no sense. I understand you want it to seem as if she's less stunning in comparison to her friends, so say so instead of saying "boring." Because red hair is not boring. And green eyes certainly aren't average either. You could say something like, She looked awkward, or a little outlandish. Her eyes resembled mucky lakes rather than bright emeralds. That kind of thing. I don't really know what I think of Ryan, as he hasn't said a word and his description was brief.

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