for Wolfy Instincts6/22/2012 c4 
1Lilly S. Robert
This chapter felt a alittle rushed. I felt that she should have been freak ed out more and that he shouldn't have told her yet. That he should have easied her into it, he should have waited til she felt comfortable around him.
1Lilly S. RobertThis chapter felt a alittle rushed. I felt that she should have been freak ed out more and that he shouldn't have told her yet. That he should have easied her into it, he should have waited til she felt comfortable around him.
6/22/2012 c3 Lilly S. Robert
Ok i did like the information i learned from this chapter but i felt that it could have been better. My biggest problem is a hate it when writers restate everything that had just happened from another persons point of views. I already read the chapter and it feels like a slight cop out to have another chapter and I'm not trying to be man but i feel that you can move forward with the story while stating what he felt is flash backs or something. I want to know what is going on inside his mind but also have the story going forward not repeating itself. I do like this story otherwise i would not be so honesty i think you have it in your too new great. Work on some grammar and spelling. You can go far i suggest a beta. Keep up the good work.
Ok i did like the information i learned from this chapter but i felt that it could have been better. My biggest problem is a hate it when writers restate everything that had just happened from another persons point of views. I already read the chapter and it feels like a slight cop out to have another chapter and I'm not trying to be man but i feel that you can move forward with the story while stating what he felt is flash backs or something. I want to know what is going on inside his mind but also have the story going forward not repeating itself. I do like this story otherwise i would not be so honesty i think you have it in your too new great. Work on some grammar and spelling. You can go far i suggest a beta. Keep up the good work.
6/21/2012 c1 Lilly S. Robert
I didn't notice to many spelling mistakes besides the, my, when you were describing his looks and it should have been by. I hope there will be more back ground on jay. I would really like to know why she is a out cast, she seems like someone i could be friends with. Go od chapter.
I didn't notice to many spelling mistakes besides the, my, when you were describing his looks and it should have been by. I hope there will be more back ground on jay. I would really like to know why she is a out cast, she seems like someone i could be friends with. Go od chapter.
6/21/2012 c8 3dream-beautiful
The beginning of this chapter and the last one that was in Avery's POV didn't seem to really capture his personality. I understand he's completely devoted to his mate, and he'd act a bit like a lovesick puppy around her, but with his family and otherwise you'd kind of expect him to be that aloof badass type; at least, thats how he was described at the very beginning, but I haven't really "seen" any of that character yet. I like his POV though still, it's interesting. And you've written from Jay's POV really well, her reactions are really realistic. She's being understanding and logical, not annoyingly stubborn and/or in denial with most of the human/supernatural mate cliches.
3dream-beautifulThe beginning of this chapter and the last one that was in Avery's POV didn't seem to really capture his personality. I understand he's completely devoted to his mate, and he'd act a bit like a lovesick puppy around her, but with his family and otherwise you'd kind of expect him to be that aloof badass type; at least, thats how he was described at the very beginning, but I haven't really "seen" any of that character yet. I like his POV though still, it's interesting. And you've written from Jay's POV really well, her reactions are really realistic. She's being understanding and logical, not annoyingly stubborn and/or in denial with most of the human/supernatural mate cliches.
6/21/2012 c2 dream-beautiful
If you haven't a beta already I would so be up for it! I love werewolf stories and I'm only working on one other thing right now so I'd deff have time!
If you haven't a beta already I would so be up for it! I love werewolf stories and I'm only working on one other thing right now so I'd deff have time!
6/21/2012 c1 dream-beautiful
Interesting start. But what she said about looking 20 when she's 30, if she STOPPED growing in the 6th grade, than wouldn't she look like a 6th grader forever? Lol, that needs some clarification.
Interesting start. But what she said about looking 20 when she's 30, if she STOPPED growing in the 6th grade, than wouldn't she look like a 6th grader forever? Lol, that needs some clarification.
6/21/2012 c1 dream-beautiful
Interesting start. But what she said about looking 20 when she's 30, if she STOPPED growing in the 6th grade, than wouldn't she look like a 6th grader forever? Lol, that needs some clarification.
Interesting start. But what she said about looking 20 when she's 30, if she STOPPED growing in the 6th grade, than wouldn't she look like a 6th grader forever? Lol, that needs some clarification.
6/16/2012 c8 nadine
such a good story can u write more
such a good story can u write more
6/16/2012 c8 CHIBUNKEE
really good story so far. I feel like instead of just recapping other chapters in Avery's POV, it would be better to get the story to progress more.
really good story so far. I feel like instead of just recapping other chapters in Avery's POV, it would be better to get the story to progress more.
6/14/2012 c8 simple-love
Amazinggg please keep writing. Oh the clash of ideals and struggles that they will have in the future will hopefully only make their relationship stronger. Keep up the amazing work :D
Amazinggg please keep writing. Oh the clash of ideals and struggles that they will have in the future will hopefully only make their relationship stronger. Keep up the amazing work :D
6/14/2012 c8 Musicification
Love your story!
Love your story!
6/13/2012 c8 4purple-wolf-howl
I was shocked to see not one but five more chapters! Love the story so far and can't wait for more! I wonder what will happen next? Hmmm...? Update soon!
4purple-wolf-howlI was shocked to see not one but five more chapters! Love the story so far and can't wait for more! I wonder what will happen next? Hmmm...? Update soon!