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for The Pegasus

6/28/2012 c1 this wild abyss
Obviously, because this is an opening to your plot, there's a lot of background information. And while I appreciate that you've taken the time, I would have liked to see a bit more action, as I found this almost boring—I wasn't hooked by anything I read, is what I mean.

Your writing is very pretty, and I like the way you've worded it because it has a very mystical tone to it. However, I do feel like there was too much, as I sometimes found myself getting lost in it.

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