6/26/2012 c1 1starry-nights206
This is a nice short-and-sweet one shot. I like your descriptions and repetition. I think it works well to make the narration flow better. However, it does feel like without more characterization, I can't really get a clear sense of what your characters are like. Maybe you can provide more detail?

All in all, it was an enjoyable read. Keep writing! :)