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6/26/2012 c1 1starry-nights206
This is a nice short-and-sweet one shot. I like your descriptions and repetition. I think it works well to make the narration flow better. However, it does feel like without more characterization, I can't really get a clear sense of what your characters are like. Maybe you can provide more detail?

All in all, it was an enjoyable read. Keep writing! :)
6/12/2012 c1 13Nanumi
A lovely, sweet one-shot. The lack of solid characterisation actually improves its function as such, but I felt that you could have been a little more adventurous with syntax and punctuation.

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