for The Red Girl7/4/2013 c6 
3StarGazerkawaii
So far this story is well written and fun to read but, I must say I’m not a big fan of the heroine. I understand your going for a guarded character feel, but there isn’t enough action coming from the brothers for her to call them stalkers and a lot of her responses seem over dramatized despite being a guarded character. This would make more sense to me if the boys were more intense or if Emma’s character made more of a distinction of instincts being the cause of her dislike more than the boys’ actions. As it is the way you have written the boys giving her a ride to school and interacting with her during school it comes across fairly normal.
3StarGazerkawaiiSo far this story is well written and fun to read but, I must say I’m not a big fan of the heroine. I understand your going for a guarded character feel, but there isn’t enough action coming from the brothers for her to call them stalkers and a lot of her responses seem over dramatized despite being a guarded character. This would make more sense to me if the boys were more intense or if Emma’s character made more of a distinction of instincts being the cause of her dislike more than the boys’ actions. As it is the way you have written the boys giving her a ride to school and interacting with her during school it comes across fairly normal.
3/2/2013 c11 3Bruatar
hahahahahahah awesome! :D :) yayy she finally knows! :))) I know that she isn't going to accept the idea of being his mate at first, but I really do hope that towards the end she realizes how true it is and how much they really care about each other ( unlike in the first version , where it was more like "ugh okay i'll give you a chance" sort of thing )
Yay! I'm so excited! :))))
3Bruatarhahahahahahah awesome! :D :) yayy she finally knows! :))) I know that she isn't going to accept the idea of being his mate at first, but I really do hope that towards the end she realizes how true it is and how much they really care about each other ( unlike in the first version , where it was more like "ugh okay i'll give you a chance" sort of thing )
Yay! I'm so excited! :))))
2/24/2013 c10 Bruatar
This is a very well-written chapter. It shows that you took your time on it. No typos and good structure... i like how this turned out.. and the story is finally getting to the answers. I personally can't wait to get some answers! :) Yay! Waiting for the next chapter! Thanks for sharing! I love it...
This is a very well-written chapter. It shows that you took your time on it. No typos and good structure... i like how this turned out.. and the story is finally getting to the answers. I personally can't wait to get some answers! :) Yay! Waiting for the next chapter! Thanks for sharing! I love it...
2/9/2013 c8 Bruatar
I really like this chapter... for some reason it really filled me up.. very satisfying! Thanks for sharing. You're really doing a great job with this rewrite... i get the feeling that something's up with Jack... like either he worked with her dad and is keeping an eye on her OR he's covering himself up as a nice guy but is actually one of the guys that wants to get her. Anyway, again... great job! :))
I really like this chapter... for some reason it really filled me up.. very satisfying! Thanks for sharing. You're really doing a great job with this rewrite... i get the feeling that something's up with Jack... like either he worked with her dad and is keeping an eye on her OR he's covering himself up as a nice guy but is actually one of the guys that wants to get her. Anyway, again... great job! :))
1/28/2013 c7 Bruatar
Nice! Some action ! Again, the length is great! Thanks again for that modification! :D :) I liked this chapter even more than the previous... I wonder how those assholes are going to try to her now... hopefully, Kayne will be around to save her next time, too! :)) Yay! Loving this... and waiting for more. Thanks for sharing!
Nice! Some action ! Again, the length is great! Thanks again for that modification! :D :) I liked this chapter even more than the previous... I wonder how those assholes are going to try to her now... hopefully, Kayne will be around to save her next time, too! :)) Yay! Loving this... and waiting for more. Thanks for sharing!
1/28/2013 c6 Bruatar
Hell yes! This is considerably longer! Thanks for doing that :) It also really improved the writing and the style. Now the story is going more smoothly because the chapter's length is considerable. It also helps fill in more of the bridge moments. I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope that the next ones are also around this length... a little less is okay if this length doesn't work out too well. Thanks for sharing! And I'm really looking forward to more! It's nice that you're introducing the father issue and mystery behind it a bit earlier on, and involving Emma in uncovering the secrets will make her conflict more central and, consequently, from what i know from the first story, the three brothers as well.. It's progressing nicely! Thanks ! :D
Hell yes! This is considerably longer! Thanks for doing that :) It also really improved the writing and the style. Now the story is going more smoothly because the chapter's length is considerable. It also helps fill in more of the bridge moments. I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope that the next ones are also around this length... a little less is okay if this length doesn't work out too well. Thanks for sharing! And I'm really looking forward to more! It's nice that you're introducing the father issue and mystery behind it a bit earlier on, and involving Emma in uncovering the secrets will make her conflict more central and, consequently, from what i know from the first story, the three brothers as well.. It's progressing nicely! Thanks ! :D
1/15/2013 c5 3Bruatar
It's good so far :) but would it be too much to ask to make the chapters a weee bit longer? :(
The chapters are quite short and not much story gets down this way... maybe if you lengthened them a bit, it would be better.
Anyways, thanks for sharing! :)) :D
3BruatarIt's good so far :) but would it be too much to ask to make the chapters a weee bit longer? :(
The chapters are quite short and not much story gets down this way... maybe if you lengthened them a bit, it would be better.
Anyways, thanks for sharing! :)) :D
1/15/2013 c4 Bruatar
It is a filler, but it wasn't really boring... i always thought that fillers are important, anyway. :D :) Thanks for sharing!
It is a filler, but it wasn't really boring... i always thought that fillers are important, anyway. :D :) Thanks for sharing!
12/25/2012 c3 Bruatar
Ahh even better than before :) Thanks for sharing! Looking forward to the next chapter! and it's good to have you and your story back!
Woop Woop!
Ahh even better than before :) Thanks for sharing! Looking forward to the next chapter! and it's good to have you and your story back!
Woop Woop!
12/5/2012 c2 Bruatar
I'm liking the rewrite more than the original :) Thanks for sharing! Waiting for the next chapter... and, by the way, if you don't mind me asking: is there a specific schedule you go by for updating? As in a specific day each week that you update or is it monthly orrr what? I just want to know what to expect, because, even though i already read the first version, I'm still really excited to continue this one as soon as possible :) Very nice work!
I'm liking the rewrite more than the original :) Thanks for sharing! Waiting for the next chapter... and, by the way, if you don't mind me asking: is there a specific schedule you go by for updating? As in a specific day each week that you update or is it monthly orrr what? I just want to know what to expect, because, even though i already read the first version, I'm still really excited to continue this one as soon as possible :) Very nice work!