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9/13/2015 c1 12MTveit
This is such a clever 79-word story! Had to read the last sentence three two times before understanding. Awesome!
7/9/2013 c1 6Ed Harley
No doubt, I could get insanely jealous over ribs too. Really clever, short and simple story. Why don't other people write like this?
7/18/2012 c1 1Deranged Dairy Products
I just hoped he clarified the arrangement with Mike's wife first. Good work Tom, though, for taking the initiative. I guess he can just explain to Valerie that her husband was attacked and killed by pistol-cougars.

Good to see that 80 words or less can get me thinking. Nice work.
7/13/2012 c1 123A Fire Rose
Wow, a lot happens! One thing is unclear to me: It sounds like Mike has an affair with Tom's wife, but Tom kills Mike to steal HIS wife. Did I miss something there? Saying that the ribs are good and Valerie looks great was a well-done hint toward where this was headed. I love the imagery of the mountains and the sun as they hike. Nicely done!
7/3/2012 c1 99Dreamers-Requiem
This works really well. When I saw you mention the challenge, I did wonder how you would do something like that. But I think you did it brilliantly here, and like all good short stories it has a nice twist. I like the simplicity of it, the ease of it all. Really good stuff, well done!
6/30/2012 c1 4lookingwest
From Roadhouse

I think you accomplished the goal of a beginning, middle, and end really well in this piece. When you spoke of it in the review thread I was wondering how you might handle such a thing, so I thought this was a unique sort of challenge that gets writers thinking.

I'm wondering though, what the significance of "Wednesday" is, as opposed to just not naming the day. I mean, every word should could in this sort of piece, so I felt like you could forego the Wednesday word for something else - then again, I don't know what, haha. But otherwise...

Maybe "They eat ribs and homemade fires" instead of "have"? Same word count, but it enriches the verbs more. I like the detail about high noon, it evokes Old west mentalities, and I think it was a good setting/symbol for the "draw/shoot" senario that happened. Unexpected twist ending too, which was a good strength. Overall I thought this was an interesting read!

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