8/20/2012 c1 60AppleCrumble
Nice, I liked the authenic old english language, it was really effective. I loved this! Great job!
Nice, I liked the authenic old english language, it was really effective. I loved this! Great job!
7/9/2012 c1 131Mylilblackpen
Now that is a sonnet! I loved every word but I think that you detract attention by offering a translation of it; I think, and this is just my opinion, that you should just have the sonnet on its own. Let it stand by itself because it is a powerful piece and the imagery is fantastic; almost makes me what to be the subject of the speaker's intent.
I love the piece but the only suggestion is to get rid of the translation and just let people have their own interpretation of the piece without explaining what it really means. This is only a suggestion which of course you are welcome to ignore.
Take Care,
Mylilblackpen
Now that is a sonnet! I loved every word but I think that you detract attention by offering a translation of it; I think, and this is just my opinion, that you should just have the sonnet on its own. Let it stand by itself because it is a powerful piece and the imagery is fantastic; almost makes me what to be the subject of the speaker's intent.
I love the piece but the only suggestion is to get rid of the translation and just let people have their own interpretation of the piece without explaining what it really means. This is only a suggestion which of course you are welcome to ignore.
Take Care,
Mylilblackpen
7/1/2012 c1 5Celtic Mysteria
The very fact that you had the patience to write a sonnet puts me in awe of your abilities as a writer. My own poetry is entirely structureless because I haven't the patience to keep count of syllables or any sort of discernible rhyme scheme. So well done!
My only quibble is to be careful when writing in Middle English: because it's not natural to people of recent generations, it has a tendency to sound slightly clumsy or incorrect. For example, in line seven it should be "thy orders" if you mean to use a possessive pronoun (otherwise it should be translated as "you orders" which makes no sense) and in my personal opinion, in the first line "have" should replace "hath" (I don't know if it's necessarily wrong, but subtle things like these can decide whether a piece sounds fluent or clumsy)
Anyhow, overall I like it :) x
The very fact that you had the patience to write a sonnet puts me in awe of your abilities as a writer. My own poetry is entirely structureless because I haven't the patience to keep count of syllables or any sort of discernible rhyme scheme. So well done!
My only quibble is to be careful when writing in Middle English: because it's not natural to people of recent generations, it has a tendency to sound slightly clumsy or incorrect. For example, in line seven it should be "thy orders" if you mean to use a possessive pronoun (otherwise it should be translated as "you orders" which makes no sense) and in my personal opinion, in the first line "have" should replace "hath" (I don't know if it's necessarily wrong, but subtle things like these can decide whether a piece sounds fluent or clumsy)
Anyhow, overall I like it :) x