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for Best Shot

4/15/2014 c1 displacedfemale
I really liked this, a part of me wanted to see the big break up but the story was more than enough without it.

I thought Jared had left before she came to her realisation that she was in love with him - was expecting to have to find the sequel that involved a desperate search for him, a dramatic and cliched but still totally awesome to read romantic outpouring of Teegan's feelings, declarations of undying love BUT I like your ending more. I love the more understated realisation.

Great work :)
5/12/2013 c1 xEchoxInfernox
I... Love it. It's different somehow which is really nice. I like the characters, I would love to read more about them but I'll make do with my imagination:).
5/6/2013 c1 10Riley Pickett
Ahhh - this had just the right amount of sexy-sweetness hidden about. It wasn't terribly over-the-top, but just enough, which I appreciate very much. Sometimes, I think it's easy to write a one-shot and overdo it with the syrupy stuff, but I think you've achieved a very nice balance.

There were a few missing commas here and there... not enough to derail everything, but enough to make me go back and re-read. I can't find them all now, but if you do end up revising, just be on the lookout. However, it's not terrible.

All in all, this was a very cute one shot... I quite enjoyed the read after a long day of teaching - thank you for writing this! :)
4/11/2013 c1 mk
hehe that was so sweet!
3/27/2013 c1 10balloonfista
I like Jared's confidence haha :) Cute one!
3/22/2013 c1 16White Rose Blossom
Haha, this is adorable! Love her moment of realization. Too cute!
3/22/2013 c1 vsrhn
aww... damn cute!
1/26/2013 c1 4spacedoutghost
This was adorable, I hope they'll be more of these characters!
1/16/2013 c1 1Petals at dawn
Hey. Found your story from fallingstarawards, it's seriously awesome. I love it! I hope we get to see more of Jared and Teegan in future one-shots or whatever.
1/4/2013 c1 4Gonzo69
Wow, this is a well written and very entertaining story. Romance is not normally my preference, but this story was great. I enjoyed your descriptions of the charter's eyes. The eyes really are the windows to the soul and you did a great job of incorporating that into your story. I also enjoyed your vivid descriptions of the sensations the charters are feeling. Like such, "Teegan wanted to pull away, or felt she should, but made no move to break free. She couldn't. She was lost in the sensation of his lips against hers, the smell of his cologne, the heat of his legs either side of one of her own, his fingertips grazing the skin of her neck, thumb brushing her jaw line. She couldn't suppress the shiver his gentle touch evoked." - Great line. Your story makes me want to go try and charm some unsuspecting woman lol. Good job and keep it up!
P.S. Thank you for your review, its much appreciated!
12/7/2012 c1 3msceline
I love this! Usually, I'm not into the best friends cliche but this is fun, light, and realistic! Their conversation is what my conversations with my bff goes, minus the i love you part. :)
11/5/2012 c1 Socialsatire
Hook - Right in the first few lines I was caught, it was very well done. I enjyed feeling as if i was thrown into this problem just like Teegan was. It made me very pleased to see this kind of grab and honestly i was shocked which is good. Shockers are the best.
Characters - I really did feel for Teegan and her problem when she got dumped over a little secret and she was mad at jared for very good reasons i must say. I would be mad too , but Jared was sweet and i liked his character and how he tried his best to fix the problem. (Which I think he did it quiet smoothly.)
Dialogue - The conversation was very normal and everyday like which made it easy to relate to and enjoy. The conversation was in all very realistic and made this an easy read, which is good when you just want a quick little something.
Discription - I can picture Teegan perfectly. With her sparkling green eyes and lovely brown hair. The Kitchen was very well plot out i could imagine where each was and its placing in the story which was a plus. Jared was a bit harder to imagine but i got the idea of what he would be like
I really did like this story it was truely sweet and simple, which is nice to read after a long day. I liked the plot and story line because it keep it interesting. Even being put in an already started problem i still understood it quite well. You get a star for a well done plot and for making a read quiet pleased.
Over all it was stunning and very well done. Once again i will restate the Characters and the ideas where amazing done and i hope to read more of youor writing soon!Please keep writing and good luck!
11/5/2012 c1 Not convinced
Found this on an awards site. You show promise in a weak kind of way, its not moving or effective. Bland empty no character. Sooooo many things wrong. Perhaps you should try your craft more offline before sharing.
I'm not convinced.
9/30/2012 c1 Fallingstar123
Hey, its's Melissa here from fallingstar awards. Our very own Karla has written a review for your story:
Best Shot is a wonderful, fluffy and light-hearted one-shot by XxCliche-SpicexX which lets you in on a very heart felt conversation between two best friends. You're not immediately let in on what they are arguing about, or why Teegan is so mad at Jared and that is what makes it so intriguing.

Jared has such a loveable character, with his humor and awesome lines. Teegan's character is a little more in the dark, she's described as having less emotion than a rock. She's guarded and defensive. Her speech pattern inforces this, with her constantly referring to Jared; directing the conversation onto what Jared did and away from her feelings.

The dialogue is amazing, it's witty and so realistic. I can honestly say I can see this entire one-shot actually happening in a kitchen somewhere in the western world.

The ending is cute, perfect and leaves you wanting more. It's a little anti-climatic for some, and a conversation with the author led me to believe there maybe some added content there soon.

XxCliche-SpicexX is known as an author who posts her stories in "phases". They go up on the site as a first draft and then she will update them with later drafts. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. This is currently (at time of writing) a first draft, so please, bare that in mind.
Go to fallingstarawards . blogspot to read for yourself.
8/23/2012 c1 Reivera
Could have done with some expanding and explaining, how did sean break up with her? Totally cute, and great fluff!
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