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for The Adventures of Sir Edward and Sir Christopher

2/27/2019 c1 154LeagionFear
Please, PLEASE reformat the chapter! Put it into paragraphs, or ask someone to do it for you! No one can read it without getting an obscene headache. Heck, I'd even do it if you sent me the raw material. All it needs it formatting and to not all be in BOLD TEXT. Then people will read it and actually give you some constructive feedback.
12/11/2018 c1 1Morrowseer
Ah, nice to see someone who also likes Terry Brooks on here. But enough of that, on to talking about your story.

One big problem is that it’s impossible to read, because, oh lord, you put it all in bold. Proper formatting is one of the most important things to writing, right next to spelling and grammar. Truthfully, I can’t see any of it because I already have eye problems and the bold isn’t helping one bit, not to mention it’s just plain wrong format wise.

That brings me on to my next point: paragraphs. For what I can see of it, this whole 15,000 word chapter is just one paragraph! Hell, you really aren’t kind to people with eye problems are you? Or anyone with any eyes for that matter. Haha anyway you need to follow the proper format for FictionPress and many other websites, which is to put a space between paragraphs like I am doing now. Sure, you can follow the standard novel formatting of indentations instead of spacing. But man, this isn’t a paper copy so it will be hell a hard to follow, even for people with good eyes. Which is why you should definitely space out your paragraphs like I am doing.

If you ever decide to fix these things about your novel, you know so other people and me can actually see it, I will go back and read it and tell you what I thought about character, plot, setting, tone, mood, etc etc yeah all that standard review stuff. If you want me to of course, which you probably do if you want to become an author.

I’m not finished with my review quite yet. I have one more thing to add. A normal chapter length for a novel is anywhere between 3,000 and 5,000 words in length. Your chapter is about 15,000 words, which is horribly too long. Now I myself struggle with chapter lengths, having mine on a dainty 500 word count. However yours is very long, so that is an easy fix. All you have to do is find proper intervals to break up these 15,000 words into decent length chapters.

That is all I have to say for now. I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, it’s just that you said you wanted to be an author so I’m helping the way I can. Hopefully you fix your fomenting. Good luck.

6/8/2018 c1 2C. M. Brighid Bachleda
You might want to try a two or three-sentence paragraphs...this was too confusing to read...sorry...

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