for Alone8/12/2012 c1 
612simpleplan13
I really liked the first two lines. I think the second line especially was a really great description of people walking away. The last line in that first stanza though, the word bailed just didn't seem to fit with that great description. I kinda expected more.
The second stanza was kinda the same thing. The descriptions were cliche. Also that last sentence should have a question mark.
I liked the last stanza better. The idea of people never reappearing is so final, but then you say that day. It shows how friends leaving you in one important moment can feel like they left you forever.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile). It's a great place to get reviews! (if you don't mind giving them of course)
612simpleplan13I really liked the first two lines. I think the second line especially was a really great description of people walking away. The last line in that first stanza though, the word bailed just didn't seem to fit with that great description. I kinda expected more.
The second stanza was kinda the same thing. The descriptions were cliche. Also that last sentence should have a question mark.
I liked the last stanza better. The idea of people never reappearing is so final, but then you say that day. It shows how friends leaving you in one important moment can feel like they left you forever.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile). It's a great place to get reviews! (if you don't mind giving them of course)