for Thought Filter10/28/2012 c1 archersofloaf
Oh. My. God. This is hilarious, I swear! I can't wait to read more of this! Count me in for this story! I've officially become a fan (heart).
Oh. My. God. This is hilarious, I swear! I can't wait to read more of this! Count me in for this story! I've officially become a fan (heart).
10/19/2012 c6 Guest
Hm... That was a nice ending. Not a cliffhanger, exactly, but very climactic. I guess throwing the word "dramatic" in wouldn't be too much?
Wow, there's nothing to really correct. Your grammar's pretty good, and your description's definitely special. I think I like your dialogue, though. It's perfect for the age group. I don't know how old you are, but you're pulling off the "popular senior in high school" vibe off perfectly.
So Leigh's a cheerleader now? I'm really curious to find out what's going on in this. There was the time when we found out that she wrote that cheer routine, which implies that she's not as simple as we originally thought. Her past, I mean.
This is good. Keep posting! ILY.
Hm... That was a nice ending. Not a cliffhanger, exactly, but very climactic. I guess throwing the word "dramatic" in wouldn't be too much?
Wow, there's nothing to really correct. Your grammar's pretty good, and your description's definitely special. I think I like your dialogue, though. It's perfect for the age group. I don't know how old you are, but you're pulling off the "popular senior in high school" vibe off perfectly.
So Leigh's a cheerleader now? I'm really curious to find out what's going on in this. There was the time when we found out that she wrote that cheer routine, which implies that she's not as simple as we originally thought. Her past, I mean.
This is good. Keep posting! ILY.
10/15/2012 c6 
2mermaidprincesslilian
Wow, looks like it's a near climax. Update soon. Or it will get cold.
2mermaidprincesslilianWow, looks like it's a near climax. Update soon. Or it will get cold.
10/14/2012 c6 6Annything
Oh, good beginning! I think you pulled off the combination of starting with dialogue and showing fear and panic into Josh very well. See, you were really good at that, and picked up where you left off last chapter very well. It's probably not going to work on every chapter, actually, IT WON'T work for every chapter, but you pulled it off well this time. YAY GOOD FOR YOU. /PARTY TIME.
I really love the emotions in the beginning. Josh is panicking, Jude is laid-back, and Leigh is struck with sudden realization. Good emotion.
And it's surprising when we find out she made that routine. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I'M GETTING ALL EXCITED.
Oh my god, I see you setting up so much plot in this chapter, I love it. :D
Favorite sentence?: ["And I didn't steal him. It was just a kiss. Not even third base. Get your facts straight, Hughes."] LOL I CAN SEE HER SNAPPING HER FINGERS IN A Z FORMATION AT THIS.
["Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Stella,"] I SEE THIS BECOMING THE BEST CATCH PHRASE EVER.
SDHFKGLGFKJLGFKJLG I LOVE THAT ENDING. YOU JUST MADE ME KEYBOARD BANG BECAUSE OF IT.
I actually really like this story. Best story you've written so far, in my opinion. I don't really have much to say other than I really like this chapter. I don't really have any complaints. I really enjoyed it, NOTHING TO SAY BUT I LIKE IT.
Me gusta.
So... yeah. Skimpy review, but what are you going to do? Nuthin to say but GOOD CHAPTER. :D Good work on this one c:
6AnnythingOh, good beginning! I think you pulled off the combination of starting with dialogue and showing fear and panic into Josh very well. See, you were really good at that, and picked up where you left off last chapter very well. It's probably not going to work on every chapter, actually, IT WON'T work for every chapter, but you pulled it off well this time. YAY GOOD FOR YOU. /PARTY TIME.
I really love the emotions in the beginning. Josh is panicking, Jude is laid-back, and Leigh is struck with sudden realization. Good emotion.
And it's surprising when we find out she made that routine. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I'M GETTING ALL EXCITED.
Oh my god, I see you setting up so much plot in this chapter, I love it. :D
Favorite sentence?: ["And I didn't steal him. It was just a kiss. Not even third base. Get your facts straight, Hughes."] LOL I CAN SEE HER SNAPPING HER FINGERS IN A Z FORMATION AT THIS.
["Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Stella,"] I SEE THIS BECOMING THE BEST CATCH PHRASE EVER.
SDHFKGLGFKJLGFKJLG I LOVE THAT ENDING. YOU JUST MADE ME KEYBOARD BANG BECAUSE OF IT.
I actually really like this story. Best story you've written so far, in my opinion. I don't really have much to say other than I really like this chapter. I don't really have any complaints. I really enjoyed it, NOTHING TO SAY BUT I LIKE IT.
Me gusta.
So... yeah. Skimpy review, but what are you going to do? Nuthin to say but GOOD CHAPTER. :D Good work on this one c:
10/14/2012 c5 Anon
Oh, I just gotta say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing! It gets a bit confusing sometimes when you introduce so many characters (& wayy too many of them have names starting with K's o.o), but overall it flows nicely. The thing is, though, that I can't get myself to like any of your characters except for Jude. All the popularity thing annoyed me to no end- and though it was really refreshing to see a female lead in a story portrayed as the 'bad-girl-slash-player-with-trust-issues' instead of a male.. I can't find myself liking her at all. I like the side of her that disses boys and ogles them and "objectifies" them (it's hilarious!) BUT I can't seem to stand her narcissism/better-than-thou attitude. Gah.
Anyway- going now to look at your other stories (because you're a really REALLY good writer)! :D
Oh, I just gotta say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing! It gets a bit confusing sometimes when you introduce so many characters (& wayy too many of them have names starting with K's o.o), but overall it flows nicely. The thing is, though, that I can't get myself to like any of your characters except for Jude. All the popularity thing annoyed me to no end- and though it was really refreshing to see a female lead in a story portrayed as the 'bad-girl-slash-player-with-trust-issues' instead of a male.. I can't find myself liking her at all. I like the side of her that disses boys and ogles them and "objectifies" them (it's hilarious!) BUT I can't seem to stand her narcissism/better-than-thou attitude. Gah.
Anyway- going now to look at your other stories (because you're a really REALLY good writer)! :D
10/13/2012 c6 Whee
Yay! Update soon (again)!
I am glad that Jude was found (sort of...can he have been "found" if he came back?). Leigh as a cheerleader!
Yay! Update soon (again)!
I am glad that Jude was found (sort of...can he have been "found" if he came back?). Leigh as a cheerleader!
10/13/2012 c6 magicalpony33
Ooh. Dramatic ending!
Ah, thank god. I would have died if Jude got lost permanently, my eyes were glued to the screen at the beginning. I was like 'Aah, no, JUDE!" And stuff. Heh.
Ooh. Dramatic ending!
Ah, thank god. I would have died if Jude got lost permanently, my eyes were glued to the screen at the beginning. I was like 'Aah, no, JUDE!" And stuff. Heh.
10/7/2012 c5 Whee
"Who, Stella?" asked Josh, looking distracted. I raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly. "Oh, her. Doesn't really matter to me, she's going to try to jump me either way."
Lol, that made me laugh really hard! Nice line there. Can't wait to see Leigh cheer! Yay!
"Who, Stella?" asked Josh, looking distracted. I raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly. "Oh, her. Doesn't really matter to me, she's going to try to jump me either way."
Lol, that made me laugh really hard! Nice line there. Can't wait to see Leigh cheer! Yay!
10/7/2012 c4 Whee
Lol a date with Travis? That's gonna be exciting to hear about. Lots of angst and stuff :-) Lol
Lol a date with Travis? That's gonna be exciting to hear about. Lots of angst and stuff :-) Lol
10/7/2012 c3 Whee
Awwww Jude and Leigh -heart- so cute. Haha Josh has a broken nose? Ouch. But I guess he had it coming.
Awwww Jude and Leigh -heart- so cute. Haha Josh has a broken nose? Ouch. But I guess he had it coming.
10/7/2012 c2 Guest
"Says the queen of them all," I shot back before she had the chance to finish talking. "Denial's not just a river in Egypt, hon."
Lol I loved that line. Denial. De nial. De Nile. The Nile! Ha.
"Says the queen of them all," I shot back before she had the chance to finish talking. "Denial's not just a river in Egypt, hon."
Lol I loved that line. Denial. De nial. De Nile. The Nile! Ha.
10/7/2012 c1 Whee
This is pretty funny, actually. I had my doubts but its really cool. I like how Leigh is called by her last name, even though Jocelyn is a nice name. Update fast!
This is pretty funny, actually. I had my doubts but its really cool. I like how Leigh is called by her last name, even though Jocelyn is a nice name. Update fast!