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4/13/2014 c1 Wimpikid333
Do you really need help with a name? How about: 'Uncaged'?
12/28/2012 c6 2Whitefire19
I think it would be cool of the dissappearing cat at the bird as it flew by. Just an idea. I hope that since the cat is learning, it'll be able to talk to people and make friends at some point.
12/28/2012 c5 Whitefire19
Wait, did the cat really "talk" to the mom, or did it just meow at her? That part's a little unclear. Also, even though I like the way this chapter went, I think realistically the cat would definitely bite and scratch the kids to get away. That's what all scared cats do. It might be better if the cat doesn't because it senses kindness form the kids in that special way animals do.
12/28/2012 c4 Whitefire19
Great description of everything. The cat's never seen anything outside before and this is clearly what it would be thinking. Also, it was hilarious how it thought the birds were after it. Here's a small plot hole I noticed in this and the first chapter. The cat can't see it's own eyes, so it can't know what they look like.
12/28/2012 c3 Whitefire19
Holy snap! They killed a guy because he let a cat escape? That's gotta be one important cat.
12/28/2012 c2 Whitefire19
Whoa, claws that melt though cement. That's awesome. Once again you've made me want to know more. However, I think you should take out the part where you say BB guns. Those are toys that just make animals jump and won't really hurt or stop them. The whole chapter was perfect except for that.
12/28/2012 c1 Whitefire19
Great hook, the shortness was great for my attention span and the suspense made me really want to read more. Excellent.
10/7/2012 c13 Guest
I'm loving this story! I think the characters are awesome and I'm really rooting for Dawn and Leaf! I think the insults "frog- headed" and "mouse head" are hilarious. More of the characters' personalities are shown. I'm curious about the "advance" that Titan wanted to launch. He said he only needed one more cat, but who were they going after? The scientists? Anyway, I really like your style of writing and I'm excited to see what happens!
9/28/2012 c10 6Jedaek
Incredible! Finding her family and instantly running away. Mind-boggling, wingsoflinesia, thanks (I have finally run into a fast updater on fictionpress, (YES!) :)
9/23/2012 c1 Guest
This is amazing! I'm so excited to see what happens! I hope Leaf is ok
9/23/2012 c7 fixitright2nd
its me again :P. so I'm starting to like the conflicted relationship between Titan and Dawn. i think that it would be better if you had maybe developed this relationship a little more, given time to the days before when Dawn and Leaf were cleaning the bush and whatnot; maybe giving more depth to those days and more interactions. really, you could give this story a whole other chapter to just those days and give more detail to Titan (why Dawn thinks he might have been feeling that way/his personality) and then Dawn's and Leaf's friendship (why Titan would start to get jealous), a little of Miri's status, then Miri's and Titian's relationship, and actually a little more of Dawn's personality would go a long way into developing characters and giving the reader more to think about and predict themselves. Just a thought, carry on!
9/23/2012 c6 fixitright2nd
excellent writing, it's as if I'm right beside her, experiencing what the cat does. one thing: try giving emotion and inflection to your dialogue. it would give the reader a better sense of friend or foe, you know? i think you started to give the tom inflection but then the dialogue just stood alone. words like "skeptically" and "cautiously" and "hostilely", think like a cat, might help you get started.
9/8/2012 c5 Jedaek
"they found 'mommy', who I supposed was their queen goddess or something"
Yep, sure, my mom's my deity :D It has been great, keep it up, I wonder what will happen next! Thanks for this story... I was thinking today: what if the cat, or clone, turns out to be actually a human being that has been genetically programmed to be a soldier of some sort? Don't give up the secret to this story! I just shared my thoughts :)
9/7/2012 c2 Jedaek
An intriguing story, Wingsoflinesia! So far, at least. If you haven't finished it, please do, no matter how often you update. After all, some good writers need more time! Cheers!
9/3/2012 c4 7Wingsoflinesia
Reviewed my own story again. flames are accepted, I guess, if they point out any mistakes other than spelling. JUST REMEMBER THAT I KNOW HOW TO SPELL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
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