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for Children of the Gods (for now)

6/28/2013 c11 5Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant
Wow! I'm impressed with this chapter; a crewmember sending information to unknown persons, and I don't think he is even capable of doing such a thing (wait, he was in the engine room, so could he have knocked out the FTL engine?); Michael and Godiva ajusting to life onboard; and a cliff-hanger all in one!

Personally, I think they just came out of hyperspace, or warp-space or whatever - but you did a fantastic job! I'm looking foward to more!
6/10/2013 c4 1Shay Zana
I am thoroughly enjoying this so far, and I honestly think this is one of the best sci-fi's I've found on this site so far. I love the characterization, the detail, the growing plot and the mystery.
But in this chapter I found a little error.

"So are there any aliens onboard?" Michael asked as the elevator began moving.

"Oh, no," GODIVA stiffled a laugh. "It doesn't quite work in real life the way it does in all those old science fiction broadcasts."

I think you meant Vanessa, lol.
5/29/2013 c10 antiisocial
More plz
5/26/2013 c1 Guest
I was finding this quite interesting, but gave up after the first page because the language was too much. You might want to try toning it down. You can get across a bit of a rough character without curse words!
5/26/2013 c9 donovan
So far so good. I was disapointed to not to get read the whole finished book! Chapter 5 didnt seem to have much to do with the story. Thats just my humble opinion tho.
5/26/2013 c6 5Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant
You've really done a nice job on, well, everything (aside from the shortness of chapters - for instance, I see one or two chapters that can be merged together - and the constant miss-spelling of 'earth'; It should be Earth, since it is a planet, not the soil called earth. :) ).

What strikes me the most is this 'Galactic Order' you have here. I feel it could be a match for my intergalactic empire, Volatteranos, though either the IE or the FGR could be a resonable match for it. (recall the Interplanatary Wars in Prelude? ;) )

All in all, I'm very impressed with your story; everything seems to be spot on, since you seem to do your own Beta-reading, which is a good thing for any writer to do, like I do. I'll be looking foward to read the rest of this masterpeice - I'm not kidding, this IS a masterpiece!
5/21/2013 c2 1Shay Zana
This was interesting and had a nice personal feel to it with following Godiva. What origin is that name btw? lol
5/2/2013 c7 CoyoteFeather
love it!
very nice ending. this commander dude makes me mad.
i wouldn't mind knocking him down a peg or two!
my question is, who is willson?
and why is someone hacking to get info?! O,o
5/1/2013 c6 CoyoteFeather
oh god!
this is so good!
whats FTL?
i cant wait to read more. :D
keep it up!
5/1/2013 c3 CoyoteFeather
look out boy! she said fine!
-,- you know what that means!

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