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for paradox of our times

11/17/2013 c1 6EcstaticWriter
Wow you always write with so little words but the message is always clear. Your awesome at this.
3/2/2013 c1 cvbnjmhjkjhgfv
This is amazing! :) There are a few punctuation errors but otherwise it's wonderful! I love your creativity in writing. If you want, I can edit this a bit and send you the edited version to put up?
1/29/2013 c1 11flashangel
yuki...this is amazing **

Love, your kawaii angel u
12/12/2012 c1 56SomeFuckingGirl
I like this a lot. I love the comparisons in it.
12/3/2012 c1 10Daisy02
A great message, thanks for sharing, I think everyone should read this.
11/28/2012 c1 El Carlos
That was beautiful.
11/11/2012 c1 4StarburstAwesomeness
I found this poem a little depressing, but I really liked how you compared everything. For example, I loved the line "Tall men with short character." That was amazing! I would recommend capitalizing the beginning of every sentence and not to put spaces betweeen your letters and quoations, along with your commas and semicolons. For instance "two incomes , but more divorce ; fancier houses broken homes. Instead you could write:
Two incomes, but more divorce
Fancier houses; broken homes (that line was amazing also)
In fact, you probably didn't need that comma in the first line.
Anyway, hope I helped! I would be willing to beta read this and go over it a bit more if you wanted me to. I love the ideas you're playing around with here! Glad I read it!
StArBuRsT

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