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for Kids These Days

10/15/2012 c1 1Warmill
The first problem is your introductory summary. I'm always suspicious of anyone starting out: If you like this author or that author you'll love this. Well, this story is no Stephensen or Egan. The second problem, according to the notes is that its written by two writers which leads to the third problem. The need for some serious editing. Apparently each writer has to get their ideas into this story, so it ends up rambling on with unnecesary scenes like the over description of the mess in the women's restroom that was, I suppose, written for gross effect but was pointless. The entire Cyber gaming scene was written more like you're trying to impress the readers with your "inside" knowledge of gaming rather than building an interesting story. The characters, especially Jake and his girlfriend, are cookie cutter personas and not very interesting. Finally, cyber punk hit its zenith in the 90's and the real problem that always plagued that genre was the fact that despite all the scenes, plots, and characters, etc. with only the single act of pulling a plug all the problems are immediately solved.
10/10/2012 c1 2Myinx
This is all so awesome! You're right in the summary. I do like Stephensen and Egan and I do love this. Gibson would also be proud!:) Your descriptions of the cyber and real worlds are excellent and educational and the development of the character's pesonalities (especially Nick's) is almost perfect. Great job and look forward to the next installment. :)

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