10/10/2012 c1 3BlueCoral
I really like the poem in the beginning... some typos... In the 1st paragraph, 'I was as if some mysterious...' should have been 'It...'. Also, this sounds weird, 'At the centre of this force was a man, no a sorcerer,...' It appears as if the sorcerer is not a man and some goblin or something... I don't think that was your intention... 'At the centre of this force was a man, a sorcerer,...' should be a better alternative. Also the 'was' following the sentence should be deleted.
Again, later, 'His friends, people who once believed in Titan and all it had stood for. They had all perished under the hand of Tobias and the human race indoctrinated by greed and endless want.' These two should be one sentence. 'Tobias looked down at his one time friend a sneer on his lip', there should be a 'with' before 'a sneer...'.
Thematically, I don't know where this is heading, but the plot seems to have potential. Just take care not to make it too conventional, because stories with similar plots are streaming everywhere. I'll definitely read the chapters to come! :)