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4/18/2013 c1 5Whirlymerle
Hi from the RG!
[Riot's bowls and bed were neatly laid out, her red leash hung from the window; ready for use in the open gap…] semicolon should be a comma

I like your dialogue, because I thought it was realistic, fun, and engaging. I do feel, however, that sometimes there’s too much dialogue. I would have liked to see a bit more balance with description that is not exposition.

I really like some of the unexpected details you throw into the story. Especially the paragraph where you go from talking about college loans straight to causing a forest fire. The first is super relatable the latter isn’t; with the juxtaposition of the two, the former acts as a stepping stone which draws your reader into your world, I think.
4/18/2013 c13 5HopelessGenius
Dawww that was adorable! Raith and Piper are just so cute I can't wait until the tension is so great they just snap and jump each others bones. Still love this :)

Hopeless
4/14/2013 c12 A.C
God, I love this story. It just gets better and better for every chapter! I love the way Puper thinks, the way Tony and her dad banter and the way she totally freaked out when she thought Raith was dead. More. More. More! 3 Thank you so much 333:-D
4/12/2013 c1 1Eiya Weathes
I like Tony's character very much. He's so grouchy that it really amuses me. Also, I like the personality and attitude you've embedded in Piper. She certainly leaves a particularly strong first impression which is a huge plus in my book.

Moreover, I like how you tied the supernatural world and the real world together. I'm very nitpick-y with that sort of thing, and I am impressed by how you dealt with it, so kudos and kudos to you!

There is not much to say. I am very, very fascinated by the adaptation of wizards in your story.

(From the Roadhouse Bar.)
4/9/2013 c1 14Shampoo Suicide
"Paranoia came with job"; I think you're missing a 'the' there.

I really enjoyed the opening lines of this chapter. It's a really good hook that made me want to continue reading. I like the glibness of your character that it introduces.

I also thought the humor throughout was great. The aforementioned glibness of your character continues throughout the first scene, which I found particularly funny.

The mixture of the supernatural with real world elements was nice. Makes it more relatable for a reader like me who may not fully be into the genre.

The chapter is really long and there's a lot of information to digest. I'm guilty of super-long FP chapters as well, so this isn't necessarily a bad thing, just something to consider. Overall it was an enjoyable chapter.
3/1/2013 c10 A.C
"For the next hundred years you're stuck with him" HAHA! Got to love Piper's dad and Tony! And Raith. And Tessa. And Piper!I love her personality, especially all the dry comments. A hundred years with Piper and Raith? This haa the potential for a hindred more books! I'm impatiently awaiting the next xhapter
2/8/2013 c1 15Un-Ended Tales
The title alone is intriguing enough to spark my curiosity. The first chapter was a lot of information coming all at once, so I'm still a little confused about this world you have created here. The first paragraph needs something more to immediately convince the reader to read on.

I did read on and I don't regret it. It has real potential. I like the reaper idea and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it.
2/5/2013 c9 A.C
A cliff-hanger? Now that's just cruel! You have to update soon, otherwise I'm going to go insane! I love the way you let the characters interact with each other. It's so perfect I want to cry. Keep it going girl, this story deserves more than 5 reviews!
2/5/2013 c9 5HopelessGenius
Have I ever told you how much I love this?! Well I'm gonna say it again: I loveeee this story! It's amazing I can't wait for another update!
1/21/2013 c8 1XxShadowsAngelxX
im loving the story. cant wait till your next upload
1/18/2013 c7 XxShadowsAngelxX
so far i love this story. i came across this story by accident. I was looking for a completed story when i found this one but forgot that i didnt set the paramters to that and im glad i didnt or i wouldnt have found this book. I cant wait for your next upload and to see what happens between her and raith
1/3/2013 c7 5HopelessGenius
Wow I can't believe that people haven't taken the time to read this! Fantastic plot, great detail, and a spitfire of a main character; everything needed for a successful story. Now all you need are a few readers and you're good to go :) Excellent story so far and I hope to hear more from it soon.

Hopeless
10/28/2012 c1 1Webbi
I love this story so far, interesting storyline, vivid setting and characters, well done!
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