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7/15/2016 c4 Cat's Silhouette
So, two chapters in one! That's great! And we finally meet Fearless. Well, Joshua meet finally met his hero and even got him on film. But it seems Fearless not only saved the clerks but also Joshua, right? Not only for his job, but from his own helplessness. In chapter 3 he met the superintendents assistant. I have a feeling that he was also important to the story, but I'm not sure. Anyway, thank you for continuing and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
4/12/2016 c1 1mcgerald
It's great you've invested time into it but here are my thoughts:
- The setting and theme does not come out clearly. Personally, I'dn't expect much dialogue in your prologue.
- The newspaper exerpt gives us a hint of what of what your story is about but gets lost almost immediately. We need more background information
4/8/2016 c1 marginal-utility
Josh has a girlfriend? I cannot remember much from the previous version, did he have one before?
4/8/2016 c2 Cat's Silhouette
Yay, you're back! Glad to see you starting this story over. I don't remember much from story, it's been a while since I last read it. But I really enjoyed reading it (That I do remember) and I would love to see where ends. I relly hope you will get back into writting it and breaking you block. I'll definitely continue reading it, so count me in! :)
I like your writing style but I can't much say about it, because English isn't my first language either. So thank you for writing it in English otherwise I surely wouldn't be able to read it.
4/7/2016 c2 marginal-utility
So, is this like a total makeover?
4/5/2016 c27 3Incorrect Password
I would love to continue reading. This is a fantastic story. Are you updating somewhere else?
1/21/2015 c20 Guest
Hey, I'm Korean!
12/29/2014 c10 Listenlinda
Not a bad story. Needs some work though. I like the story concept but not a huge fan on the way you are carrying it out.
12/24/2014 c20 Guest
This story started off pretty decent but now its just too scrambled and rushed. Then out of no where josh is moving into a different house thats miles away. (By the way how did josh and jeffery get so close and become like brothers when josh was there for a only week?) The plot of the story seems good but overall The story seems way to rushed. Its only chapter 19 and so much has developed way to quickly to make sense. You should be more specific with each characters appearances. In one scene fearless was describes as tall and slender like and in another he was broad shoulder and muscly. I don't know whether josh is tall,short,skinny etc. You give small descriptions of characters but it changes as the story progresses. But since english is not your first language, I think you are doing great writing wise. It's just the story itself is way to rushed for the amount of events thats are occurring throughout each chapter.
11/16/2014 c1 starkgambit
11/12/2014 c27 1Handsome Devil
Hi. So I'm just wondering how and where I can read more you said there would be 10 more chapters on ch 25 ? I'm just so addicted to this story and I really want to see Josh grow and see what he's capable of ;_; also I want to see how his & Rafe's relationship progresses!
11/7/2014 c3 MiranDuranDa
Just one bit of constructive criticism this time: in the sentence "Joshua wished nothing more than...," there needs to be a "for." It should be "Joshua wished for nothing more than..."

That's all! Still love it!
11/7/2014 c2 MiranDuranDa
Great chapter. I loved your portrayal of an addict. It was very realistic. I love that Josh still has a heart for her too. There were only two typos I noticed. First, in "coffee-fetcher, errant boy and document-filer" I think you meant to say "errand boy." Errands are menial tasks while to be errant means to be straying away. The other one was in the 4th to last paragraph where you say his boss let it slip. The expression is to let it slide, not slip.

Anyways, I love the chapter! Can't wait to read more!
11/7/2014 c1 MiranDuranDa
Wow! English isn't your first language? I never woul have guessed from the prologue. Your grammar and syntax were perfect. The only errors I saw were in punctuation, using 'single' instead of "double" to show when someone's talking. Otherwise it was perfect.

I can't wait to read your story!
10/26/2014 c27 8SeLaVi
This can't possibly be the end... Right?
Certain scenes confused me slightly, but not enough to not comprehend what was going on. Nevertheless, I absolutely love this story. It was a very captivating plot line and interesting style of writing. If this IS the end, then I am going to start feeling VERY sorry for myself.
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