for Violent Tendencies of Georgina Simmons10/27/2012 c1 
8TheRaven'sFeather
I really liked the summary for this in that it caught your attention. I was a little dissapointed when I found out that this wasn't going to be a horror story, but that's no problem of yours. I wanted to point a few things. One is that if Helena was in fact crying at the funeral, she'd probably be too sad to call Georgia a lesbian. In fact, why was Helena even crying at the funeral? How did Georgia know The were's combinations? Even if Georgia wants revenge, she probably wouldn't want to sit with them. If she wanted to keep Bree's memory, wouldn't doing things like putting up Bree's picture on their lockers be better (she gets to talk to them less)?
There were a few grammatical errors. For instance "So how you girls?" should be "So how are you girls?"
Aside from that, I like the direction this seems to be going in, and I think you set up the plot well.
Keep writing :)
8TheRaven'sFeatherI really liked the summary for this in that it caught your attention. I was a little dissapointed when I found out that this wasn't going to be a horror story, but that's no problem of yours. I wanted to point a few things. One is that if Helena was in fact crying at the funeral, she'd probably be too sad to call Georgia a lesbian. In fact, why was Helena even crying at the funeral? How did Georgia know The were's combinations? Even if Georgia wants revenge, she probably wouldn't want to sit with them. If she wanted to keep Bree's memory, wouldn't doing things like putting up Bree's picture on their lockers be better (she gets to talk to them less)?
There were a few grammatical errors. For instance "So how you girls?" should be "So how are you girls?"
Aside from that, I like the direction this seems to be going in, and I think you set up the plot well.
Keep writing :)