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12/28/2015 c3 7MagicInTheMundane
I swear this guy's behaviour is exactly like my sort-of ex's (our relationship was weird, I don't know what you'd fall it). It's scary how easily some people find it to prey on others vulnerabilities. On a positive note, you tell a good story.
11/12/2013 c23 3Lizzie Black
Hey I forgot to tell you how I enjoyed reading your story. Great job! I'll have to start on the sequel just so I can know the rest of the story. Thanks for the entertaining read and as always thanks for reading my stories (and for all the corrections. I do appreciate them; it allows me to go back and fix the errors, so thanks!)
10/26/2013 c23 jennielove
it was fun to read!
10/26/2013 c5 Lizzie Black
Hey great story so far. I do think you should give a little more description to your summary; it might attract more people to read if they know more about what it's about. Also just a small error at the very beginning. "Smelt" is a type of fish so it should be "I smelled him". That's it. :)
7/31/2013 c3 1Unxious Custard
I like the relationship with your character's friend, well described in a quick sentence. I also like the comments about right handed reading. This allows your reader to have a good physical understanding of the situation, so helps up to visualize the situation much more clearly. I also like the way your character describes herself, as someone who does not belong in a clique. Some very good writing here. I hope you will also review my story, Psychics v Terrorists, which is a modern fantasy, set in England. Good luck with your writing.
7/31/2013 c2 Unxious Custard
Hi, I really liked your chapter 1, which though short, was full of your character's emotions. Small naggy thing - chapter 2 has too many ins in it for my taste. e.g. Why isn't he in school today? Should be why isn't he at school today? Can be easily forgiven since this is dialogue, but it really should be I questioned Abheshek with false casualness. (my head. Damn! What's...) You need a new paragraph here between head and Damn. Even though it seems like a natural continuation of this paragraph, you have Abhishek's reply at the start of the sentence, so when you move to another person's thoughts, it's like moving to another person's dialogue - you need to change paragraphs. Again some very nice conflicting emotion coming through at the end of this story. Well done.
7/17/2013 c20 ooooh
pleasepleaseplease keep the updates coming!
7/7/2013 c17 ooglemac
This is well written :)
7/7/2013 c18 ooglemac
Excited for the next chapter!
6/27/2013 c18 5HopelessGenius
Welp this is a pretty interesting story. Not horribly written, which is more than I can say about most stories on here, and there's a catching plot. Can't wait for the next update!

Hopeless
6/27/2013 c15 HopelessGenius
Just so you know, your pupils can't darken. They're black as black can be. The iris is the part of the eye that holds color.
6/27/2013 c18 12KitKat1517
Can't wait to see what happens next with her and Danial! Update soon please:) xxx
6/25/2013 c16 579Dill Wilson
I would have ended the story at the end of Chapter 12. The last four chapters feel anti-climatic and it becomes confusing with the switching POVs - just my opinion! The emotions of the main character feel real and honesty and that is the story's strong point. Good job.
2/1/2013 c6 Punslinger
You certainly make the reader feel Tanisha's emotional turmoil. I don't blame her for being jealous and
bitchy, if she loves Danial so much that she cuts
herself to distreact from the anguish.
1/26/2013 c5 Punslinger
Aw, poor Tanisha! I didn't laugh at her this time.
She is really suffering in the confusion of wanting a
relationship, but telling herself she doesn't.
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