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for Between Shadow and Deception

3/23/2013 c8 Punslinger
More good writing, taking us deeper into the characters' minds and lives.
2/18/2013 c7 Punslinger
Good chapter with interesting character and plot
development. Keep them coming.
2/10/2013 c6 Punslinger
Well done. Keep the action going.
2/1/2013 c5 GriLl0ws
I like this story..Im really intriguied on like why they have to fight and if there is going to be like maybe a little bit of a love connection between Raine and Ray later on...This is a really cool idea! I'm exciting to read more when it gets posted.

Keep up the great work!

1/7/2013 c5 Punslinger
This is an interesting chapter, although there's not much
action. Ray seems to be a promising character, when we
get to know more about him.
12/27/2012 c4 Punslinger
Good chapter. The plot is moving along smoothly and
holding my interest.
12/19/2012 c3 Punslinger
This is a pretty good chapter. A little too talky for
my taste. But I can see how you wanted to give the characters more depth through dialogue.

Happy Holidays! Maybe you'll have time to look at my
kids' Christmas story about Wally Wind and Rosie
12/12/2012 c2 Punslinger
Good work introducing the male character by having him
narrate the chapter from his point of view. It will be
interesting to see if a relationship grows between them
in spite of the harsh conditions they live under.
12/5/2012 c1 Punslinger
This is an attention-grabbing opening of what could be
an exciting action/adventure story. Let us know if you
decide to add another chapter.

But I'm bothered by the way the narration slips from
past tense to present tense, then back. I think you
should choose one and stay with it.

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