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for Black Roses: Project Deep End

3/27/2013 c6 Trayce
I'm so sorry it took me so long to read this chapter man. I didn't even realize that it had been put up! Regardless, I enjoyed the chapter a great deal and you even got the inside joke that Trayce and Creed are A and Killer B from Naruto (at least personality wise). The fights were interesting but a bit frantic so a smidge more detail and attention to breaks in action ( e.g. where action ends and the next begins) would help to rectify it. Other than that, I am seriously looking forward to the imperial arc. Keep up the good work and the next chapter of my story should be out on Friday...midterms and spring break messed me all up.
2/5/2013 c5 5Garden of Black Roses
Good to have you back bro! And a very nice chapter for our favorite man made Rose. And by the looks of things, I might have to beat Lily half to death for creating those things. Regardless, you did a very good job of continuing the story of Tycon Z and Deep End while capturing what has already been issued about the roses. Including the information about Lan being the ninja of the team that no one knows about and Trayce being over protective of Creed (while not knowing his little brother has a girlfriend).

Good job man and I look forward to your next chapter!
1/17/2013 c1 4decode9
Nice. Glad to see you trying something a little new Van.
1/2/2013 c4 Leroy L. L
Another fun action romp here, I really like how u build the story up so fast. You do a good job of getting us right into the action and giving us all the info we need to know. The action scenes are still going well, I liked seeing Xero fight the hydra it was a on a whole different level from what we've seen him fight so far. Keep up the good work, I'm going to be posting my new work soon, featuring Xero.
12/27/2012 c4 5Garden of Black Roses
I actually read this a couple of days ago but just now have had time to respond. Simply enough, I am constantly being blown away by your understanding of our characters. You even have it down to the type of missions that each pre-established teams go on. Granted, the teams change up a little bit and Creed and Lan are used in different ways than others on different teams, you still have done a great job. The Raine character is interesting and seems almost like a female version of Deep End. I am looking forward to see what is done with her and how Trayce and Creed react to it...seeing as they are just the young and old version of each other mentally, haha. Good job and I look forward to the next chapter. If you have any questions about Creed, Lan or Trayce or need other formations, just feel free to ask.
12/17/2012 c3 Leroy L. L
Great job! You really got the voice and mannerisms of Broker down. I enjoyed reading it, inspired me to get back into writing more Black Roses work. I must say you're pretty good at setting up characters in certain scenes, you have a good control of dialogue and it really helps your story, especially a story as wild as this one. Your character Xero is a fun time to be around, he is easy to relate too and plus his powers are quite boss. Great work, I can't wait to see more and my next work might include Xero in it.
12/12/2012 c3 Garden of Black Roses
This was another entry into the Black Rose mythos my good sir! While Lily isn't that old, she's only 21, just a year older than the twins, she most certainly would react that way to someone calling her old. I like this idea of the Collective and the Imperial Army. However, at times, it becomes a little hard to tell who is speaking. By no means is it a ginormous issue, it just causes you to to have to go back and read it because you aren't sure who said what. Try to iron that out as much as you can before posting things up by other than that, great job! I look forward to the next chapter and I wonder what Trayce will say about Xero's progress...seeing as he's never around and the dude who does solo missions. Haha.
12/11/2012 c2 Leroy L. L
Great job Van, you're growing fast in your writing. I see you have a lot of the skills of some of my the other Black Roses down. The guy who writes as Trayce, has a lot of action and crisp, clean descriptions; which you have. Myself as Broker, has a lot of comedy and at the same time keeps the action just as balanced. One of our other writers, who RP's as Richard, is very skilled as moving the plot along and keep us surprised. You really kept up the surprises here, and the plot never felt dull. Great job, keep up the good work!
12/11/2012 c2 Garden of Black Roses
I really enjoyed this chapter Xero. It continued the story that you had set up and most of all it was entertaining and we got to see more of Xero's powers. It is interesting that his tail acted as a conductor for Kes's flames which was a severely cool scene and the two worked well together.

One thing I would work on his proofreading ahead of time before you post something because in places there are words missing that should be there and vice versa. However, that happens for everyone who writes. Just keep up the good work and I look forward to your third chapter and learning more about the Collective. Also, I want to know which team Xero is sent with next!
12/6/2012 c1 Garden of Black Roses
Very good job my friend. Xero Nevermore or Deep End, is definitely someone that you do not want to mess with. You did a good job explaining the action but it is a bit frenetic and hard to keep up with so a little bit more detail would help the reader keep up. Otherwise, as Trayce D. King is concerned, I enjoyed and want to see what this enigmatic bastard at the end has in store for my nakama.

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