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for The List Poem

12/19/2012 c1 11Kay Iscah
"i" on its lonesome is always capitalized.

I like the simplicity of the image you've created, but I think you might get better punch with shorter phrases and less repition. Since you've called it the list poem, I'd treat it more like a list...

Like:

too many things
in a shiny black case
photographic memories
after-thoughts of indulgent trips
paper
ripped and fading
paper as fragile as a secret
reminescence
buried lies
borrowed ink
tangled words
formless thoughts
glossy white
blue pages authored by escapism
loose noose
capsules
restlessness
things left half finished, half burned
too many things
things I want
things I have
things I might leave behind.

(I am not a great poet, just playing with the format.)
12/19/2012 c1 2Ghost Divsion
I don't normally read poetry, so what I say probably will be way off base, but the poem isn't bad. Everyone is attached strongly to something, wether it be paper or women. Your poem does a good job expressing the connections you have with your possessions, which is vital to a piece like this. I also like the words you used to describe the things themselves, even though near the end the detail becomes kind of fuzzy.
12/19/2012 c1 13The Queen of Fairyland
Perfect. Beautiful. From the first letter to the one and only punctuation mark, this was a good piece.

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