Just In
for Indifference

4/12/2013 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I'm not sure if the repetition really works well here. I think that by using it so frequently you actually weigh the prose down rather than emphasis what you are saying. I think maybe using it once it twice for the key points would be better.

I feel like the overall message of hope and 'hang in there' was good however I would have liked to see the poem branch inward with more specifics about what/why these things were happening. I feel like the underlying themes were too vague.


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