for Hell's Punishment3/26/2014 c1 Senketsu
Oh God ! I've been looking for a story like this for ages! So lucky! And somehow, John sounds like someone I'd know...
Oh God ! I've been looking for a story like this for ages! So lucky! And somehow, John sounds like someone I'd know...
10/28/2013 c8 
9cmaej
For a moment, I thought Michael was the conspirator. I can sense that he feels bad for whatever happened to Lucfi, but doesn't want to show it.
Man, John's classmates are drinking some serious hater-aid.
Once again, John's life is trolling him.
9cmaejFor a moment, I thought Michael was the conspirator. I can sense that he feels bad for whatever happened to Lucfi, but doesn't want to show it.
Man, John's classmates are drinking some serious hater-aid.
Once again, John's life is trolling him.
10/10/2013 c7 cmaej
LOL, so the reason for John's terrible social life is Mika.
"I don't know what else I have to do, damnit to make you see.. .to make you see..."
"Make me see what?"
Gawd, John is dense!
"Mika was patiently waiting for John to answer. She had a knife at ready need I mind you."
I can just imagine Mika with big, innocent eyes glistening with hope... holding a knife.
Anyway, this is beginning to feel a lot like Inuyasha, where you must gather pieces of a crystal which are capable of empowering and corrupting anyone else who finds it. I thought the shard was making Mika murderous, since is from the devil. Unfortunately for John, his new girlfriend is just plain crazy.
LOL, so the reason for John's terrible social life is Mika.
"I don't know what else I have to do, damnit to make you see.. .to make you see..."
"Make me see what?"
Gawd, John is dense!
"Mika was patiently waiting for John to answer. She had a knife at ready need I mind you."
I can just imagine Mika with big, innocent eyes glistening with hope... holding a knife.
Anyway, this is beginning to feel a lot like Inuyasha, where you must gather pieces of a crystal which are capable of empowering and corrupting anyone else who finds it. I thought the shard was making Mika murderous, since is from the devil. Unfortunately for John, his new girlfriend is just plain crazy.
10/4/2013 c6 cmaej
I won't leave you at 69 review... so here's number 70.
All the dialogue makes me think that I'm reading a manga rather than a story. I'm not sure if that's your intentions, but why not?
Mika was only mentioned briefly previously and I didn't expect her to have such a big entrance. I makes me wonder why she was hanging around the mortal world in the first place.
I won't leave you at 69 review... so here's number 70.
All the dialogue makes me think that I'm reading a manga rather than a story. I'm not sure if that's your intentions, but why not?
Mika was only mentioned briefly previously and I didn't expect her to have such a big entrance. I makes me wonder why she was hanging around the mortal world in the first place.
10/2/2013 c5 cmaej
It seems that Michael has enough charisma to even make the tough Gabriel blush. I'm almost sure he's the head conspirator, and he's throwing Camiel under the bus. I don't feel that bad for her because she did stabbed John in the back when he tried to defend her. Maybe she'll grow on me later.
It seems that Michael has enough charisma to even make the tough Gabriel blush. I'm almost sure he's the head conspirator, and he's throwing Camiel under the bus. I don't feel that bad for her because she did stabbed John in the back when he tried to defend her. Maybe she'll grow on me later.
10/2/2013 c4 cmaej
The midgets are back... YAY! Boy, do they have self-esteem issues. It's funny how the emotional scene encouraged the midgets to kill him. I'm guessing the he survived from his half-angel heart.
They remind me of a time where I almost picked up a midget because I thought it was a small child trying to cross a busy street. It really happened and it was super embarrassing.
The midgets are back... YAY! Boy, do they have self-esteem issues. It's funny how the emotional scene encouraged the midgets to kill him. I'm guessing the he survived from his half-angel heart.
They remind me of a time where I almost picked up a midget because I thought it was a small child trying to cross a busy street. It really happened and it was super embarrassing.
10/2/2013 c3 cmaej
Big-boobed naughty angel in white panties... I'm sure you went through a lot of tissue... for the nose bleed, that is. LOL
Big-boobed naughty angel in white panties... I'm sure you went through a lot of tissue... for the nose bleed, that is. LOL
10/2/2013 c2 cmaej
Las Vegas? What about New Jersey?
When I think of John and Ken fighting, I think of them swinging their hands aimlessly as they try to avoid getting hit in the face. I definitely wouldn't made me thought of men sex. Lucfi is so shameless. LOL
Las Vegas? What about New Jersey?
When I think of John and Ken fighting, I think of them swinging their hands aimlessly as they try to avoid getting hit in the face. I definitely wouldn't made me thought of men sex. Lucfi is so shameless. LOL
9/30/2013 c1 cmaej
Finally got around to reading "Hell's Punishment!"
It's a nice start. It could use more descriptions and there are missing words here and there, but it's still a good start.
The thug midgets were funny. I thought the bucket of water was funny, too. You put together a dramatic mood with the summoning and suddenly... SPLASH! LOL Who knew it would have such significance?
I'm off the next couple of days, and I promise to give this story the attention it deserves.
Finally got around to reading "Hell's Punishment!"
It's a nice start. It could use more descriptions and there are missing words here and there, but it's still a good start.
The thug midgets were funny. I thought the bucket of water was funny, too. You put together a dramatic mood with the summoning and suddenly... SPLASH! LOL Who knew it would have such significance?
I'm off the next couple of days, and I promise to give this story the attention it deserves.
9/12/2013 c4 4Lolitroy
Midgets gang...? The hell. I couldn't help but crack up just by imagining the scene -w-'
I love the humor. Lucfi's an awesome character, both story and tourney-wise. And Camiel... hahaha -w-' loved the part when she had one of her fights with Lucfi. (Also would've liked to see the math *nosebleed*)
4LolitroyMidgets gang...? The hell. I couldn't help but crack up just by imagining the scene -w-'
I love the humor. Lucfi's an awesome character, both story and tourney-wise. And Camiel... hahaha -w-' loved the part when she had one of her fights with Lucfi. (Also would've liked to see the math *nosebleed*)
9/4/2013 c3 Lolitroy
Uwah! The Hounds of Hell finally make their apparition! But alas...
This chapter was... goodness. I'll just say it's the first time I ever read wing ecchi o_o"
I wonder if John's cries of mercy will ever be heard...
BTW I'll continue reading tomorrow. Got to go -w-'
Uwah! The Hounds of Hell finally make their apparition! But alas...
This chapter was... goodness. I'll just say it's the first time I ever read wing ecchi o_o"
I wonder if John's cries of mercy will ever be heard...
BTW I'll continue reading tomorrow. Got to go -w-'
9/4/2013 c2 Lolitroy
The horror movies-poor John. I understand having nightmares when someone's hearing people shred off 24/7 o_o
Whoa, they're killing him?
BTW oh man Lucfi sounds so innocent here... comapred to what I'd imagine at least.
The horror movies-poor John. I understand having nightmares when someone's hearing people shred off 24/7 o_o
Whoa, they're killing him?
BTW oh man Lucfi sounds so innocent here... comapred to what I'd imagine at least.
9/4/2013 c1 Lolitroy
Decided to drop by :D
Haha, it sounds delightful so far. There are maybe some reduncandy issues reharding description (like when you mention the reason behind John friend's eye contacts) and maybe some writing typos and all the fluff, but ignoring all of that and focusing on the actual story there is a good premise so far :D I'll continue reading in the near future.
Have to feel bad for John o_o
Decided to drop by :D
Haha, it sounds delightful so far. There are maybe some reduncandy issues reharding description (like when you mention the reason behind John friend's eye contacts) and maybe some writing typos and all the fluff, but ignoring all of that and focusing on the actual story there is a good premise so far :D I'll continue reading in the near future.
Have to feel bad for John o_o