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1/3/2013 c1 24Pzychotic
Wait why didn't they just run out of the factory :(
Anyways yay :D action! Coolness.
Um just one thing that bothered me was the use of - versus -
like sometimes it seems like you are connecting some words like my daughter-she's gone should be my daughter-she's gone! even if it looks funny i think in word it changes it to an ndash.
Oh and about the guy stuff, you don't have to sound that manly to get a guy voice. Mostly it was context clues, unless it was an extremo tomboy lol. Dude not even my writing voice is manly think of Eho. O_o

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