for Behind the Scenes12/31/2013 c1 
4PunkRockLuvr
So I read this first chapter, and I think the concept of your story is good, but your grammar can do with some work. Something I couldn't help but notice, was you haven't capitalized your "I"s. And then there're some awkward paragraphs, but I think those can be fixed with some proofreading?
The story is also kind of rushed and the dialogues are somewhat awkward.
I think with some improvement with these things this story can get much better:)
Keep writing xx
4PunkRockLuvrSo I read this first chapter, and I think the concept of your story is good, but your grammar can do with some work. Something I couldn't help but notice, was you haven't capitalized your "I"s. And then there're some awkward paragraphs, but I think those can be fixed with some proofreading?
The story is also kind of rushed and the dialogues are somewhat awkward.
I think with some improvement with these things this story can get much better:)
Keep writing xx
8/20/2013 c30 EKADLZBIVKelksbliaowdxvnczbk
:( Aww man! Why'd they have to fight when the invasion's just 5 days away *sigh* Pray they'll make up soon. I really hope they would :( And thanks for including Brunei too XDDD
:( Aww man! Why'd they have to fight when the invasion's just 5 days away *sigh* Pray they'll make up soon. I really hope they would :( And thanks for including Brunei too XDDD
7/26/2013 c27 EKADLZBIVKelksbliaowdxvnczbk
Wow. Ele slept through all that. I wonder how things were with Raina.
I'd have to go with (2) Seems kinda cool XD Actually they all seem pretty cool XD If you do write, tell me. I'd like to read them all
Wow. Ele slept through all that. I wonder how things were with Raina.
I'd have to go with (2) Seems kinda cool XD Actually they all seem pretty cool XD If you do write, tell me. I'd like to read them all
7/18/2013 c25 EKADLZBIVKelksbliaowdxvnczbk
Oooohhhhhh I like the twist. Been waiting for this chapter for a while but it's not bad XDDDDD
Oooohhhhhh I like the twist. Been waiting for this chapter for a while but it's not bad XDDDDD
7/2/2013 c1 3mango-fetish
So here I am! Yay for reviews! Oh, I do not like lurkers. Nope, not a bit. So I try to review every story I come across. Although one of the first things I noticed in your story was the lack of capital letters, I got used to it. At first, I was like "Oh no! Did she forget to capitalize her Is a whole bunch of times?!" But then, as I read on, I realized you meant to do that! And I wasn't put-off by it at all. Actually, it seemed more teenager-y anyway. Like I'm reading a blog or something. I thought it was funny the way both you and Ryan describe Raina as good-looking, but in her POV she makes herself sound like someone who's really dorky and ugly! That was a nice touch, because that's a very "girl" thing to do.
3mango-fetishSo here I am! Yay for reviews! Oh, I do not like lurkers. Nope, not a bit. So I try to review every story I come across. Although one of the first things I noticed in your story was the lack of capital letters, I got used to it. At first, I was like "Oh no! Did she forget to capitalize her Is a whole bunch of times?!" But then, as I read on, I realized you meant to do that! And I wasn't put-off by it at all. Actually, it seemed more teenager-y anyway. Like I'm reading a blog or something. I thought it was funny the way both you and Ryan describe Raina as good-looking, but in her POV she makes herself sound like someone who's really dorky and ugly! That was a nice touch, because that's a very "girl" thing to do.
4/14/2013 c20 EKADLZBIVKelksbliaowdxvnczbk
XD NO WAY! Will be waiting for the next one ahaha Ok A cliff hanger? o.o Oh wells, in any case, I'd like to see what happens next hahaha Nicely done!
XD NO WAY! Will be waiting for the next one ahaha Ok A cliff hanger? o.o Oh wells, in any case, I'd like to see what happens next hahaha Nicely done!
3/24/2013 c18 flo
Nice story so far! I really wonder how they will avert the impending crisis...
I love how Ryan snatches a cookie in THAT situation! The romance in chapter 18 turned out very cute.
Especially the first few chapters could do with some proofreading though... The sentences don't start with capital letters most of the time and some other things are off as well. Also, you could simply mention whose point of view it is at the beginning of each chapter to make reading easier!
BTW, whatsoever happened to Rainas job? I don't remember her returning to it after that first chapter...
Nice story so far! I really wonder how they will avert the impending crisis...
I love how Ryan snatches a cookie in THAT situation! The romance in chapter 18 turned out very cute.
Especially the first few chapters could do with some proofreading though... The sentences don't start with capital letters most of the time and some other things are off as well. Also, you could simply mention whose point of view it is at the beginning of each chapter to make reading easier!
BTW, whatsoever happened to Rainas job? I don't remember her returning to it after that first chapter...
3/21/2013 c18 EKADLZBIVKelksbliaowdxvnczbk
Oooooohhhh *Sigh* Safe! But now they have to deal with an alien invasion o.o The public didn't believe them, and now I wonder if they will o.o Hopefully they will *sigh* Will be waiting :D
Oooooohhhh *Sigh* Safe! But now they have to deal with an alien invasion o.o The public didn't believe them, and now I wonder if they will o.o Hopefully they will *sigh* Will be waiting :D
3/2/2013 c15 EKADLZBIVKelksbliaowdxvnczbk
Uh-oh Quick! Tell me what happens next! """ Will be waiting :D
Uh-oh Quick! Tell me what happens next! """ Will be waiting :D