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2/9/2013 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
God, this was gorgeous, you pulled the fast paced time lapses perfectly. It didn't lack the description needed, and it was full of feeling. Such a sad story, but bittersweet and with an open ending thanks to that last line. The fact you didn't use names added to its almost poetic feel, and I really liked how realistic these nameless characters became in such a short time. This was a beautifully subtle and well written wee piece, you have a real talent for gorgeous and seamless writing! Fabulous work.
2/9/2013 c1 2JYates
"longer since he's seen her"
This might be a little bit nitpicky, but I think "he'd" would be a better choice than "he's" in this sentence. Just something to think about.

"A few days and he's be back here"
I think "he'd" works better here too over "he's"

"he played in close to the vest"
One more thing, I think "it" would work better than "in" in this situation.

Regardless of all that stuff above I liked your story a lot! I think that it really portrays the feeling of loss in a human sort of way. It wasn't a happy ending but it was the ending that needed to happen.
I think my favorite thing about this whole story was the feeling I got that all of this was impossible, that they were in a never ending dance that he couldn't get out of. Also knowing that these two have no names, that these two have no identities, makes it a much more relate able story. I haven't been on this site for very long, but I think this is one of my favorite stories so far.

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