for Short Stories4/20/2013 c1 
34DanielStalwart
The reason the girl rejected the guy's proposal was reasonable and it makes sense because money-wise, the couple won't survive for long. And reading this story really reminds me of a youtuber which I saw some time ago and she made a video addressing about love and marriages. So this was what she mentioned if I could remember.
If those two people are in love with each other, why do they need to be married to prove that they are in love with each other? I mean they are in love already, marriage can wait; its not a big deal, so why not wait a few more years when the guy is financially stable before he pops the question again.
Its not wise to rush into marriage because the keyword here is "money". Even your main character mentioned it.
Judging by the story, the two people are maybe in their early twenties. That's too early to be married properly. Studies have shown that the younger two people marry, the higher the chance of them getting a divorce one or two years later. And almost up to 60 to 70% of young married couples do not survive before 3 to 5 years of their marriage.
So why even rush into marriage when they can't even take care of themselves physically and financially, that just beats the purpose of getting married. You tie the knot because you want to settle down independently with you and your spouse. Its more meaningful to handle a marriage yourselves than to rely on others for support like family and friends.
Marriage is all about independence, not love; because you guys are in love with each other already before a marriage. A marriage is just something for you freely to tell the world that you're "officially" together with your significant other half.
And just for the story alone...I'm sorry but the girl is very gullible in my eyes, she just gets easily persuaded by her boyfriend because he managed to convince her that they have part-time jobs and their families can chip in to help their marriage. No one in the right mind would accept this as a reason to get married. He just gave her a fantasy which probably would not happen.
Following on to my former point the guy is either really naive or just a spoilt brat that only thinks about the near-future and marriages. Plus adding a gold band with a giant diamond in the middle, that must cost a bomb and he's still studying, how can he afford that...unless he comes from a rich family and his parents probably would fund his wedding.
To also see adults; lecturers even the deputy head that would be at least 30, 40 or even 50 years old supporting this marriage. I'm like "no one of an adult mind ever questions this marriage proposal?" what are they all? hopeless romantics that approves of any romance without a single doubt?
Sorry for being this harsh as this is actually one of my most critical reviews ever. Its not that the story has no substance, I just find the love and marriage part to be very shallow. I hope you can take everything with a pinch of salt and continue on working your own craft
-RED-
34DanielStalwartThe reason the girl rejected the guy's proposal was reasonable and it makes sense because money-wise, the couple won't survive for long. And reading this story really reminds me of a youtuber which I saw some time ago and she made a video addressing about love and marriages. So this was what she mentioned if I could remember.
If those two people are in love with each other, why do they need to be married to prove that they are in love with each other? I mean they are in love already, marriage can wait; its not a big deal, so why not wait a few more years when the guy is financially stable before he pops the question again.
Its not wise to rush into marriage because the keyword here is "money". Even your main character mentioned it.
Judging by the story, the two people are maybe in their early twenties. That's too early to be married properly. Studies have shown that the younger two people marry, the higher the chance of them getting a divorce one or two years later. And almost up to 60 to 70% of young married couples do not survive before 3 to 5 years of their marriage.
So why even rush into marriage when they can't even take care of themselves physically and financially, that just beats the purpose of getting married. You tie the knot because you want to settle down independently with you and your spouse. Its more meaningful to handle a marriage yourselves than to rely on others for support like family and friends.
Marriage is all about independence, not love; because you guys are in love with each other already before a marriage. A marriage is just something for you freely to tell the world that you're "officially" together with your significant other half.
And just for the story alone...I'm sorry but the girl is very gullible in my eyes, she just gets easily persuaded by her boyfriend because he managed to convince her that they have part-time jobs and their families can chip in to help their marriage. No one in the right mind would accept this as a reason to get married. He just gave her a fantasy which probably would not happen.
Following on to my former point the guy is either really naive or just a spoilt brat that only thinks about the near-future and marriages. Plus adding a gold band with a giant diamond in the middle, that must cost a bomb and he's still studying, how can he afford that...unless he comes from a rich family and his parents probably would fund his wedding.
To also see adults; lecturers even the deputy head that would be at least 30, 40 or even 50 years old supporting this marriage. I'm like "no one of an adult mind ever questions this marriage proposal?" what are they all? hopeless romantics that approves of any romance without a single doubt?
Sorry for being this harsh as this is actually one of my most critical reviews ever. Its not that the story has no substance, I just find the love and marriage part to be very shallow. I hope you can take everything with a pinch of salt and continue on working your own craft
-RED-
3/15/2013 c3 Kieran Mason
Much Love!
Much Love!
3/15/2013 c2 MagicWords
A unique relationship. You could totally make a story out of this! I would read it if you continued.
A unique relationship. You could totally make a story out of this! I would read it if you continued.