for The Girl in the Mirror12/23/2014 c8 
5Y. S. Wong
Maria-chii. (*w*)
Ahh, some nice Asa philosophizing. How I missed this. This chapter was a bit different, though, in that whereas it's normally Akari philosophizing through her narration, this time the philosophizing is done through Akari's conversation with Maria. But that didn't make it any less profound.
Naked Akari with Puppydog gai and Tsundere-kun. Ohmai.
5Y. S. WongMaria-chii. (*w*)
Ahh, some nice Asa philosophizing. How I missed this. This chapter was a bit different, though, in that whereas it's normally Akari philosophizing through her narration, this time the philosophizing is done through Akari's conversation with Maria. But that didn't make it any less profound.
Naked Akari with Puppydog gai and Tsundere-kun. Ohmai.
6/11/2014 c8 some1eleven
Several other of the RAOSC members have recommended me your works. They were quite appreciative of your writing, praising its quality and saying that it's definitely worth the time. After reading "The Girl in the Mirror", I have to say they couldn't quite give it justice. Your piece exceeded everything I could expect. It was a truly amazing- and humbling- read :)
On the surface, "TGitM" offers us a solid, if formulaic story about a teenage girl who becomes a "manager" to a popular actor, and thus becomes drawn into the dazzling world of idols and celebrities. A decent idea with a distinct shoujo manga flavour, it promises a plot that's as good as it is familiar: Grounded in the common dreams (getting drawn into the world we normally see only on the TV screens), a large dose of dirt beneath the beautiful facade (discovering what this world is really like), as well as plenty of tension- both romantic and situational. If anyone tried to summarise "TGitM", it would probably sound like a solid, if not outstanding teenage romance story.
Only "The Girl in the Mirror" isn't a story about a teenager who becomes a manager to a celebrity.
It's a story about Akari, the heroine and the narrator, the eponymous girl in the mirror. The premise, the other characters, the events of the story- they're nothing more than a canvas, a background on which the she is cast. In truth, "The Girl in the Mirror" is a tale about what it means to be Akari, what does the world looks like through her eyes, what it feels like to be in her skin. How is it to be shaped by life the way she was, and what is it like to keep living it. The true setting of this tale is in Akari's head and inside of her heart. Everything else- the cold house, the prestigious school, the dazzling celebrities- is just a set of external circumstances.
That's where you commit your writing skills, and the results are awe-inspiring *v* "TGitM" is an introspective tale into Akari's world, and it feels incredibly vivid and authentic. She is a deeply human, complete character, thinking, feeling and alive. Her inner world strikes with the rich mesh of past and present, failed hopes and distant dreams, dark, painful expectations and yearning for a better, warmer life. It's easy to sympathise with the way Akari thinks and feels, see how her mindset came to be and why she can't see the world any other way.
At the same time, the narration always has a very personal, unique flavour to it, complete with various small biases and prejudice that Akari holds. We never learn any objective truth about the world around her; we keep looking at it through her eyes, hearing her interpretations and beliefs. At times, I wish I could walk into her world, shake her up and tell her just how single-minded she is; yet, it's this quirky, biased narration that makes Akari such an endearing, convincing heroine. Her confusion and pain are beyond relatable. She keeps questioning what she sees and experiences, but she can't find any answers. She understands all too well how cold and painful her family situation is, but can't see any way out of it. She notices her own loneliness even though it's sketched with pretty thin lines, yet she can't grasp why is she condemned to it. The sheer emotional power behind her narration gave me a small crisis of doubt about my writing. Compared to it, my own pieces feel crude and vulgar, like rough sketches drawn with thick, clumsy lines next to sophisticated, elegant lineart ':]
I have to agree with Akari about the other members of the cast. Ikuto Tamaki gives me shivers, and Yuusuke is adorable in a harmless way :D
One part of the storyline made me a little uneasy, however: Akari discovering that Shiru lied to her about the party at the house. While I can fully understand her feelings of betrayal, I can't believe that a single even was enough to cross out a lifetime of trust and sibling love between her and her cousin :o I know that if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want to believe. I'd defend him with all my might, try to look for excuses or some special reasons why he'd be forced to lie to me- anything that'd let me keep believing in him. Even if he were a real douchebag (which I'm inclined to believe that Shiru is, atm ;) ).
Also, I can't shake off the feeling that the story started to crank a little in the most recent chapters. I'm not sure why, but "TGitM" gives me a strong "write what you know" impression. Most of the chapters feel as though you understood what Akari was going through very well, as though you were basing them on personal experiences or at least could put yourself in her shoes completely. This striking impression becomes a little weaker in the last two chapters, however. I don't know how to put it, but... In a way, it feels as though you had to rely on your imagination more than you're usually comfortable with ;) I can't quite put my finger into which part makes your writing uneasy- is it party... Or Akari sneaking into a stranger's house, accompanied by two boys she barely knows? ;3 Somehow, I can't shake an intuition that you might be far more confident writing about a ball full of celebrities than about an adventurous escapade like that XD (Just to re-assure you, so would I. The few teenage adventures I had definitely were nothing worth writing a story about, lol).
At the end of the day, none of these small flaws can make "TGitM" any worse in my eyes. A real gem of this community, it earned a high place in my favourites fair and square. I can only hope you're going to continue this story- I'll sure look forward to it :D
Several other of the RAOSC members have recommended me your works. They were quite appreciative of your writing, praising its quality and saying that it's definitely worth the time. After reading "The Girl in the Mirror", I have to say they couldn't quite give it justice. Your piece exceeded everything I could expect. It was a truly amazing- and humbling- read :)
On the surface, "TGitM" offers us a solid, if formulaic story about a teenage girl who becomes a "manager" to a popular actor, and thus becomes drawn into the dazzling world of idols and celebrities. A decent idea with a distinct shoujo manga flavour, it promises a plot that's as good as it is familiar: Grounded in the common dreams (getting drawn into the world we normally see only on the TV screens), a large dose of dirt beneath the beautiful facade (discovering what this world is really like), as well as plenty of tension- both romantic and situational. If anyone tried to summarise "TGitM", it would probably sound like a solid, if not outstanding teenage romance story.
Only "The Girl in the Mirror" isn't a story about a teenager who becomes a manager to a celebrity.
It's a story about Akari, the heroine and the narrator, the eponymous girl in the mirror. The premise, the other characters, the events of the story- they're nothing more than a canvas, a background on which the she is cast. In truth, "The Girl in the Mirror" is a tale about what it means to be Akari, what does the world looks like through her eyes, what it feels like to be in her skin. How is it to be shaped by life the way she was, and what is it like to keep living it. The true setting of this tale is in Akari's head and inside of her heart. Everything else- the cold house, the prestigious school, the dazzling celebrities- is just a set of external circumstances.
That's where you commit your writing skills, and the results are awe-inspiring *v* "TGitM" is an introspective tale into Akari's world, and it feels incredibly vivid and authentic. She is a deeply human, complete character, thinking, feeling and alive. Her inner world strikes with the rich mesh of past and present, failed hopes and distant dreams, dark, painful expectations and yearning for a better, warmer life. It's easy to sympathise with the way Akari thinks and feels, see how her mindset came to be and why she can't see the world any other way.
At the same time, the narration always has a very personal, unique flavour to it, complete with various small biases and prejudice that Akari holds. We never learn any objective truth about the world around her; we keep looking at it through her eyes, hearing her interpretations and beliefs. At times, I wish I could walk into her world, shake her up and tell her just how single-minded she is; yet, it's this quirky, biased narration that makes Akari such an endearing, convincing heroine. Her confusion and pain are beyond relatable. She keeps questioning what she sees and experiences, but she can't find any answers. She understands all too well how cold and painful her family situation is, but can't see any way out of it. She notices her own loneliness even though it's sketched with pretty thin lines, yet she can't grasp why is she condemned to it. The sheer emotional power behind her narration gave me a small crisis of doubt about my writing. Compared to it, my own pieces feel crude and vulgar, like rough sketches drawn with thick, clumsy lines next to sophisticated, elegant lineart ':]
I have to agree with Akari about the other members of the cast. Ikuto Tamaki gives me shivers, and Yuusuke is adorable in a harmless way :D
One part of the storyline made me a little uneasy, however: Akari discovering that Shiru lied to her about the party at the house. While I can fully understand her feelings of betrayal, I can't believe that a single even was enough to cross out a lifetime of trust and sibling love between her and her cousin :o I know that if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want to believe. I'd defend him with all my might, try to look for excuses or some special reasons why he'd be forced to lie to me- anything that'd let me keep believing in him. Even if he were a real douchebag (which I'm inclined to believe that Shiru is, atm ;) ).
Also, I can't shake off the feeling that the story started to crank a little in the most recent chapters. I'm not sure why, but "TGitM" gives me a strong "write what you know" impression. Most of the chapters feel as though you understood what Akari was going through very well, as though you were basing them on personal experiences or at least could put yourself in her shoes completely. This striking impression becomes a little weaker in the last two chapters, however. I don't know how to put it, but... In a way, it feels as though you had to rely on your imagination more than you're usually comfortable with ;) I can't quite put my finger into which part makes your writing uneasy- is it party... Or Akari sneaking into a stranger's house, accompanied by two boys she barely knows? ;3 Somehow, I can't shake an intuition that you might be far more confident writing about a ball full of celebrities than about an adventurous escapade like that XD (Just to re-assure you, so would I. The few teenage adventures I had definitely were nothing worth writing a story about, lol).
At the end of the day, none of these small flaws can make "TGitM" any worse in my eyes. A real gem of this community, it earned a high place in my favourites fair and square. I can only hope you're going to continue this story- I'll sure look forward to it :D
4/25/2014 c6 9kingofe3
I like that Akari is a dynamic character. She feels very much real. The side characters are nice as well and gives me a feel that another story is going on within them.
I say this chapter was quite well done on the pacing and gives readers some things to think about. Very nicely done, Aria. :D
I'm not going to comment on your writing because everything about it has already been said countless times. You truly are one of best writers of the Asylum.
And what that, I leave you to your 60th review! *flies away*
9kingofe3I like that Akari is a dynamic character. She feels very much real. The side characters are nice as well and gives me a feel that another story is going on within them.
I say this chapter was quite well done on the pacing and gives readers some things to think about. Very nicely done, Aria. :D
I'm not going to comment on your writing because everything about it has already been said countless times. You truly are one of best writers of the Asylum.
And what that, I leave you to your 60th review! *flies away*
4/25/2014 c5 kingofe3
It seems Akari got getting the Asian mother treatment as well, makes sense. ;3 Not sure if Ikuto sitting there was a coincidence. He must be stalking here, that only makes sense. owo
But yeah, Shiru is a jerk. Sad we didn't see Akari tear him a new one, but hey, party time! *throws confetti, wakes up with a massive hangover and somehow ended up in London*
It seems Akari got getting the Asian mother treatment as well, makes sense. ;3 Not sure if Ikuto sitting there was a coincidence. He must be stalking here, that only makes sense. owo
But yeah, Shiru is a jerk. Sad we didn't see Akari tear him a new one, but hey, party time! *throws confetti, wakes up with a massive hangover and somehow ended up in London*
4/20/2014 c8 2Sentimental RainCloud
It didn't have much of an impact on me honestly. I liked it, it was good, but it felt like a filler chapter. Something lighthearted from all the angst that went down. I am glad I saw a new side of Maria, though her speech made me believe she was much older than her age at times. I like I got to see her reason for the way she acted. Though, I think that was the highlight of this chapter for me. Congrats, she didn't seem so generic after all. However, I was a bit sadden by the fact that there was no internal monologue. I enjoyed that the most about your writing. :'( Hahaha. I think Ikuto is lying. I believe he's the one who saw her and he wanted to check up on her. I dunno, but with this drama, it felt like a Kdrama. (In a good way) Ah, yeah. That's all I have to say. Yuusuke 3 I really want to know more about these characters. This chapter set the foundation for their stories to be told. Not only Akari's. It crucial, but there is where the development in your writing lies. This is a character based story and you need to execute it well. I believe you can too. I can't wait for more. Well, you got my honest opinion. :3 Ah, as for improvement. Just focus on a balance between monologue and character development for now. xD
2Sentimental RainCloudIt didn't have much of an impact on me honestly. I liked it, it was good, but it felt like a filler chapter. Something lighthearted from all the angst that went down. I am glad I saw a new side of Maria, though her speech made me believe she was much older than her age at times. I like I got to see her reason for the way she acted. Though, I think that was the highlight of this chapter for me. Congrats, she didn't seem so generic after all. However, I was a bit sadden by the fact that there was no internal monologue. I enjoyed that the most about your writing. :'( Hahaha. I think Ikuto is lying. I believe he's the one who saw her and he wanted to check up on her. I dunno, but with this drama, it felt like a Kdrama. (In a good way) Ah, yeah. That's all I have to say. Yuusuke 3 I really want to know more about these characters. This chapter set the foundation for their stories to be told. Not only Akari's. It crucial, but there is where the development in your writing lies. This is a character based story and you need to execute it well. I believe you can too. I can't wait for more. Well, you got my honest opinion. :3 Ah, as for improvement. Just focus on a balance between monologue and character development for now. xD
2/28/2014 c7 5Y. S. Wong
A hundred shades of grey. (*w*)
*doesn't remember any of the characters*
But still a great chapter. Once again, you just do a wonderful job of narrating in first person. Even if it is just Akari rambling, it's beautiful rambling.
Overwhelming theme of this chapter seems to be loneliness. You definitely hit it home with everything in this chapter. Thematically, this chapter was quite well-organized and drove the point home well.
5Y. S. WongA hundred shades of grey. (*w*)
*doesn't remember any of the characters*
But still a great chapter. Once again, you just do a wonderful job of narrating in first person. Even if it is just Akari rambling, it's beautiful rambling.
Overwhelming theme of this chapter seems to be loneliness. You definitely hit it home with everything in this chapter. Thematically, this chapter was quite well-organized and drove the point home well.
2/22/2014 c7 3Katsurou Shimizu
HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TROLL YOU WHEN YOU WRITE A CHAPTER LIKE THIS?!
The art piece, the confusion about loneliness, the yearning for love and yet fearing it... you portrayed those emotions really well in this chapter... I can even recall that confusion you felt when you told me about being lost the other day.
Akari-chan, start aiming for the stars desu yo, otherwise you'll end up at the bottom of the cliff *w*
#
[Champaign]
-Champagne.
3Katsurou ShimizuHOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TROLL YOU WHEN YOU WRITE A CHAPTER LIKE THIS?!
The art piece, the confusion about loneliness, the yearning for love and yet fearing it... you portrayed those emotions really well in this chapter... I can even recall that confusion you felt when you told me about being lost the other day.
Akari-chan, start aiming for the stars desu yo, otherwise you'll end up at the bottom of the cliff *w*
#
[Champaign]
-Champagne.
2/17/2014 c7 2Sentimental RainCloud
I am moved. How beautiful. It's like a beautiful painting-Akari words.
I am wondering about her parents now. lol. I don't think it crossed my mind in all the other chapters. I can't wait to know more. Hurry and update.
2Sentimental RainCloudI am moved. How beautiful. It's like a beautiful painting-Akari words.
I am wondering about her parents now. lol. I don't think it crossed my mind in all the other chapters. I can't wait to know more. Hurry and update.
2/17/2014 c6 Sentimental RainCloud
How beautiful. At one point felt as if I was reading a well written K-drama. You my friend should be a play maker, or screen writer.
You asked why my reviews are short, and for that I am sorry. I just don't think my vocabulary allows me to say what my heart truly feels when reading this story. I finally understand that I not only see you in Akari, but I also see myself as well. I can connect with her on an intimate level. It is as if you took your pen and dipped into my heart for ink. The fake smile, naive demeanor, false hope in someone. Yes, I too feel like Akari, I too want to show the people around me that I am good enough... I too lost myself in the folds of someone else.
Keep writing, Asa. Keep writing the words I can't seem to say aloud. Maybe one day I'll be able to say them.
How beautiful. At one point felt as if I was reading a well written K-drama. You my friend should be a play maker, or screen writer.
You asked why my reviews are short, and for that I am sorry. I just don't think my vocabulary allows me to say what my heart truly feels when reading this story. I finally understand that I not only see you in Akari, but I also see myself as well. I can connect with her on an intimate level. It is as if you took your pen and dipped into my heart for ink. The fake smile, naive demeanor, false hope in someone. Yes, I too feel like Akari, I too want to show the people around me that I am good enough... I too lost myself in the folds of someone else.
Keep writing, Asa. Keep writing the words I can't seem to say aloud. Maybe one day I'll be able to say them.
2/11/2014 c7 1CreativeWriting
Hey this Chris from Creative Writing and i would just like to say that i love this story. The interactions between characters always captures me and makes me wonder what they might say. My only critique is that there should be more character description. Last chapter we meet Maria and this one we meet Merino Yuusuke without knowing what they look like. Other than that i can not wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the good work :)
1CreativeWritingHey this Chris from Creative Writing and i would just like to say that i love this story. The interactions between characters always captures me and makes me wonder what they might say. My only critique is that there should be more character description. Last chapter we meet Maria and this one we meet Merino Yuusuke without knowing what they look like. Other than that i can not wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the good work :)
1/21/2014 c4 2Sentimental RainCloud
ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ohmigawsh, I loved every moment of this chapter ;;
Shiru, that bastardo, I could just kill him. I don't have much to say because this chapter took my words away. Keep writing. .
2Sentimental RainCloudASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ohmigawsh, I loved every moment of this chapter ;;
Shiru, that bastardo, I could just kill him. I don't have much to say because this chapter took my words away. Keep writing. .
1/15/2014 c4 9kingofe3
Well, that didn't take long for that secret to come out. Gah, this story is making it seem like every guy is a two timer or a jerk. Some nice bishies need to come in once in a while you know. owo At least there is some bit of faith in the puppy guy.
9kingofe3Well, that didn't take long for that secret to come out. Gah, this story is making it seem like every guy is a two timer or a jerk. Some nice bishies need to come in once in a while you know. owo At least there is some bit of faith in the puppy guy.
1/12/2014 c3 kingofe3
Oh boy, this seems to be developing into a sweet, little love triangle isn't it? I'm not usually into romance, but this nicely done and has me hooked in to see what happens next. As always your writing is so freaking clean. owo
Oh boy, this seems to be developing into a sweet, little love triangle isn't it? I'm not usually into romance, but this nicely done and has me hooked in to see what happens next. As always your writing is so freaking clean. owo
1/10/2014 c3 2Sentimental RainCloud
Ah, yeah. It turns out I read this chapter, but I didn't review. So, here it goes!
QAQ Awwwwwww maaaaaan, as much as a jerk Akira is making Ikuto out to be, I don't dislike him. I got it bad for them bad boy *v* /slapped
I just like Akira more and more though, the girl is such a realistic character, in my opinion. She reminds me of the author a bit. :P
On a side note: I smell romansu between Ikuto and Akira. *wink wink*
Here is where I slow down and look at the chapter. (Apparently not: After I read it over I saw nothing of me looking at the chapter.)
Ohmaigwad! I can't help but think Ikuto is right about Shiru. He seems like a jerk towards Akira. QnQ Broke my heart. I like you writing very much, and I tell you that a lot. You've such a lovely way of telling a story and I love it. Keep writing. QAQ YOU OWE US CHAPTERS. Stop being busy with school. Who needs an education /slapped/ Just kidding. Stay a school kids reading this review. xoxo
2Sentimental RainCloudAh, yeah. It turns out I read this chapter, but I didn't review. So, here it goes!
QAQ Awwwwwww maaaaaan, as much as a jerk Akira is making Ikuto out to be, I don't dislike him. I got it bad for them bad boy *v* /slapped
I just like Akira more and more though, the girl is such a realistic character, in my opinion. She reminds me of the author a bit. :P
On a side note: I smell romansu between Ikuto and Akira. *wink wink*
Here is where I slow down and look at the chapter. (Apparently not: After I read it over I saw nothing of me looking at the chapter.)
Ohmaigwad! I can't help but think Ikuto is right about Shiru. He seems like a jerk towards Akira. QnQ Broke my heart. I like you writing very much, and I tell you that a lot. You've such a lovely way of telling a story and I love it. Keep writing. QAQ YOU OWE US CHAPTERS. Stop being busy with school. Who needs an education /slapped/ Just kidding. Stay a school kids reading this review. xoxo