for Elemental Warriors: Volume One5/9/2020 c36 
3xpechpilzx
I don't really know what to do with the last chapter. Maybe I missed something but for me it is not really fitting for the rest of the story.
I love the hole concept but this "Ending" is irritating.
But to sum it up: I like the story, I like the style. I enjoyed reading it.
3xpechpilzxI don't really know what to do with the last chapter. Maybe I missed something but for me it is not really fitting for the rest of the story.
I love the hole concept but this "Ending" is irritating.
But to sum it up: I like the story, I like the style. I enjoyed reading it.
1/22/2017 c1 lots-of-red-letters
I already love the start to this; premise and setting alike. Looking forward to reading more~
I already love the start to this; premise and setting alike. Looking forward to reading more~
6/5/2016 c1 kumamon
Greetings from RAOSR!
I like how you write, it sounds very eloquent without throwing in big words. It was written nicely, and I really liked Haruki's righteous attitude. What's a shounen story without someone like him, right? The girl is going to play an important role in the story, right? Aw, smol bean, don't be so scared. ; u ; Haruki will take care of you!
Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
Greetings from RAOSR!
I like how you write, it sounds very eloquent without throwing in big words. It was written nicely, and I really liked Haruki's righteous attitude. What's a shounen story without someone like him, right? The girl is going to play an important role in the story, right? Aw, smol bean, don't be so scared. ; u ; Haruki will take care of you!
Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
4/3/2016 c2 12578916
ohh. present tense. so the first chapter is a flashback?
silver into carbon? elemental magic?
lighten up... yay pun.
so that's kana. it's that moe-moe... 'thing' right?
i thought yokai are japanese spirits. did you come up with that term yourself?
oh, you mention heights, like, 6'8". that's unique. you love your feet and inches...
they have gallowglass swords in medieval japan? and claymores? don't worry, it's magical so i think foreign designs are okay. :3
stopping a sword with bare hands? monster power? magic? or martial arts? why not all? but that other guy just sliced furniture midair so i think that just fits
that's a nice fight scene. it shows personality and great action at the same time. your characters have distinct personalities.
ohh. i count four people in the team. i call it out: kana is soo joining... and some other guy or girl. if they kill him that early, we won't be seeing him go moe moe mode
good chapter. :)
12578916ohh. present tense. so the first chapter is a flashback?
silver into carbon? elemental magic?
lighten up... yay pun.
so that's kana. it's that moe-moe... 'thing' right?
i thought yokai are japanese spirits. did you come up with that term yourself?
oh, you mention heights, like, 6'8". that's unique. you love your feet and inches...
they have gallowglass swords in medieval japan? and claymores? don't worry, it's magical so i think foreign designs are okay. :3
stopping a sword with bare hands? monster power? magic? or martial arts? why not all? but that other guy just sliced furniture midair so i think that just fits
that's a nice fight scene. it shows personality and great action at the same time. your characters have distinct personalities.
ohh. i count four people in the team. i call it out: kana is soo joining... and some other guy or girl. if they kill him that early, we won't be seeing him go moe moe mode
good chapter. :)
4/2/2016 c1 2578916
now i know why you made the descriptions topic in the forum. i like the opening descriptions :)
you let the dialogue tell the story, and with the scenic atmosphere, it works and sounds cool
i'm curious about the monster girl. and that ending sentence feels promising, like it's setting the mood for the whole story
the setting is medieval japan? haven't read a story in those for a long time. i'm curious :)
now i know why you made the descriptions topic in the forum. i like the opening descriptions :)
you let the dialogue tell the story, and with the scenic atmosphere, it works and sounds cool
i'm curious about the monster girl. and that ending sentence feels promising, like it's setting the mood for the whole story
the setting is medieval japan? haven't read a story in those for a long time. i'm curious :)
3/27/2016 c31 5Y. S. Wong
Tentacle monsters and Toru, huh. The weird scene in between the flashback was kinda weird. Ruined momentum for the flashback.
Dafuq.
5Y. S. WongTentacle monsters and Toru, huh. The weird scene in between the flashback was kinda weird. Ruined momentum for the flashback.
Dafuq.
3/26/2016 c30 Y. S. Wong
Battle of the Moe, huh. Back to present tense too. After only one chapter? I can literally see you in the middle of leveling up with your descriptions here though.
"Tamiko delivers a sneaky kick into the sorceress's groin" Oof, right in the nads!
"and follows with a spinning kick to her face" She ain't pretty no more.
"'You must steal his, shape it into your desire, and become the very definition of his manhood!'" Wut.
I don't know, it probably was not intentionally funny, but Kamoto raging over watching Takeshi sleep was like the funniest thing.
Battle of the Moe, huh. Back to present tense too. After only one chapter? I can literally see you in the middle of leveling up with your descriptions here though.
"Tamiko delivers a sneaky kick into the sorceress's groin" Oof, right in the nads!
"and follows with a spinning kick to her face" She ain't pretty no more.
"'You must steal his, shape it into your desire, and become the very definition of his manhood!'" Wut.
I don't know, it probably was not intentionally funny, but Kamoto raging over watching Takeshi sleep was like the funniest thing.
3/20/2016 c29 Y. S. Wong
Oh, past tense. Time to go nuts about the inconsistency.
"a perfect day to take Ophelia out and train her in the ways of an inu." Insert Lenny face here.
I'm not feeling the Torphelia.
"'But he is black.'" Dayum.
Hmm, nice chapter spent building up character interactions and plot. I like this one a lot. There are a couple times where you strayed into present tense, though.
Oh, past tense. Time to go nuts about the inconsistency.
"a perfect day to take Ophelia out and train her in the ways of an inu." Insert Lenny face here.
I'm not feeling the Torphelia.
"'But he is black.'" Dayum.
Hmm, nice chapter spent building up character interactions and plot. I like this one a lot. There are a couple times where you strayed into present tense, though.
1/22/2016 c28 Y. S. Wong
Ophelia charmed Toru with her huge pair of what?
"and ironically, noticed a warm, fatherly sensation in his icy-blue eyes." The father-daughter complex is real.
"'It's real,' Toru said to his young packmate. 'Hold it.'" Hue.
And the chapter ends with some nice character development for Takeshi and Master-kun laughing maniacally. u
Ophelia charmed Toru with her huge pair of what?
"and ironically, noticed a warm, fatherly sensation in his icy-blue eyes." The father-daughter complex is real.
"'It's real,' Toru said to his young packmate. 'Hold it.'" Hue.
And the chapter ends with some nice character development for Takeshi and Master-kun laughing maniacally. u
1/16/2016 c27 Y. S. Wong
Onii-chan. Oh, a chapter about Kaoru.
"No ladies." Dammmmnnnnnnnnnnn get rekt, Naomi.
Disturbing, singsong voice. Kek.
Huh, I thought this was gonna be a pure flashback chapter, but the flashback interlaid with the present day was a pretty neat idea. Well done.
oh. I just noticed the flashback scenes are in past tense.
And Toru gets out of another dog's mouth. The hostage scene felt a bit unnecessarily extended, though.
Census:
1. Yes, because the last time I read this story was half a year ago. (*w*)
2. Wut, moar matches?
3. Winner gets Toru.
4. Already answered.
Onii-chan. Oh, a chapter about Kaoru.
"No ladies." Dammmmnnnnnnnnnnn get rekt, Naomi.
Disturbing, singsong voice. Kek.
Huh, I thought this was gonna be a pure flashback chapter, but the flashback interlaid with the present day was a pretty neat idea. Well done.
oh. I just noticed the flashback scenes are in past tense.
And Toru gets out of another dog's mouth. The hostage scene felt a bit unnecessarily extended, though.
Census:
1. Yes, because the last time I read this story was half a year ago. (*w*)
2. Wut, moar matches?
3. Winner gets Toru.
4. Already answered.
12/21/2015 c1 2Ink Lord
I admit I was confused at first, but the more I read, the more I had to know what was going on. It's been a while since I've read a story with Japanese mythology fully in play, so when you started to use the actual terminology I had to look up a few. All of them except Tengu because I love the way they look.
The set of the story is definitely reminiscent of Inuyasha with Haruki and your focus on the difference half demons and full demons, except that here I think it may take a bigger part of the story. Kori is already a departure in that she seems to be on Haruki side when shown the respect she deserves.
I can't judge if this story is a full on departure of the usual anime, but I know that you've set the stage for cool powers and characters.
One thing did throw me off though, why have everything stem from Japanese mythology, clothes and names, but then name it the Elemental Warriors' society? Just curious.
2Ink LordI admit I was confused at first, but the more I read, the more I had to know what was going on. It's been a while since I've read a story with Japanese mythology fully in play, so when you started to use the actual terminology I had to look up a few. All of them except Tengu because I love the way they look.
The set of the story is definitely reminiscent of Inuyasha with Haruki and your focus on the difference half demons and full demons, except that here I think it may take a bigger part of the story. Kori is already a departure in that she seems to be on Haruki side when shown the respect she deserves.
I can't judge if this story is a full on departure of the usual anime, but I know that you've set the stage for cool powers and characters.
One thing did throw me off though, why have everything stem from Japanese mythology, clothes and names, but then name it the Elemental Warriors' society? Just curious.
10/18/2015 c1 6SanjiandSerea
A nice chapter. The plot seems interesting and puts me in the mind of one of the first anime I watched when I was young. Inuyasha. I wonder who the half-breed girl is and what her relevance is to the plot. Over-all a good read. No grammar mistakes from where I'm standing.
So good job!
6SanjiandSereaA nice chapter. The plot seems interesting and puts me in the mind of one of the first anime I watched when I was young. Inuyasha. I wonder who the half-breed girl is and what her relevance is to the plot. Over-all a good read. No grammar mistakes from where I'm standing.
So good job!
7/29/2015 c26 5Y. S. Wong
Sacchan is definitely sniffing dat yuri dust. (*w*)
"He remains her of someone special..." *Reminds.
Ew. Torphelia is gross.
Takeshi's a tool. *WONGRAGE*
Watch it with the pronouns, etc. Though I'm not as anal about it as Boomer Kid the Master of Heads, when you combine the pronoun usage with your liberal use of head hopping, it makes it extremely difficult to follow your narration.
On the other hand, it seems like your descriptive skills leveled up this chapter. Congratulations. (*w*)
5Y. S. WongSacchan is definitely sniffing dat yuri dust. (*w*)
"He remains her of someone special..." *Reminds.
Ew. Torphelia is gross.
Takeshi's a tool. *WONGRAGE*
Watch it with the pronouns, etc. Though I'm not as anal about it as Boomer Kid the Master of Heads, when you combine the pronoun usage with your liberal use of head hopping, it makes it extremely difficult to follow your narration.
On the other hand, it seems like your descriptive skills leveled up this chapter. Congratulations. (*w*)
7/19/2015 c25 Y. S. Wong
Hmm, I felt like the overall pacing and transitions out of scenes in this chapter were a little bit rough.
Takeshi's a tool. *Wongrages*
And "P-p-please don't hurt him" Ophelia?! Pls, grow a pair and inuslap that dumbass! Don't be the weak female character whose emotions get the best of her.
You're getting addicted to those cliffies, huh?
R/N: Is the answer that Toru and Mammy-chan both have gone spelunking with Kana?
Hmm, I felt like the overall pacing and transitions out of scenes in this chapter were a little bit rough.
Takeshi's a tool. *Wongrages*
And "P-p-please don't hurt him" Ophelia?! Pls, grow a pair and inuslap that dumbass! Don't be the weak female character whose emotions get the best of her.
You're getting addicted to those cliffies, huh?
R/N: Is the answer that Toru and Mammy-chan both have gone spelunking with Kana?
7/17/2015 c24 Y. S. Wong
Toru's getting jealous of Mammy-chan. (*w*)
LOL. Toru saved by BL.
Oho, cliffy(tilde) Liked the pacing this chapter. Interesting developments with Seito, and I'm really beginning to like Mammy-chan's character.
Poor Kana though. Had the essence drained out of him. Now he'll never be able to get married.
Toru's getting jealous of Mammy-chan. (*w*)
LOL. Toru saved by BL.
Oho, cliffy(tilde) Liked the pacing this chapter. Interesting developments with Seito, and I'm really beginning to like Mammy-chan's character.
Poor Kana though. Had the essence drained out of him. Now he'll never be able to get married.