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6/8/2014 c1 VeronicaVanity
I really like this story even if it wasn't long enough for my liking :(
It's well detailed with I found very important from any story and I liked how Victoria went from being a cutesy little girl to her mums worst nightmare aha. I would love it if you expanded on it and said what the monsters where please? :)
3/23/2013 c1 19Anihyr Moonstar
Neat concept, I especially love the ending, though I really wish Victoria had killed herself instead of her mother and left her mother to suffer with both the death of her husband and the suicide of her daughter. In just the little snippet where she blamed her husband for everything and called her own daughter a monster, I grew to hate her, and I feel like she deserved to have all that guilt on her shoulders for being such a bitch. In addition, I mean, from what little we saw of Victoria's childhood, her father was the one going in there every night to protect her; her father was the one kissing her goodnight. Obviously, even if he was (understandably) weary, he was the more loving and responsible of the two parents and I wanted to imagine a future where the mother ripped herself apart for the situation (even if it wasn't precisely her fault, she still deserved comeuppance).

I also really enjoyed the contrast between little girl Victoria and teenage Victoria. I feel like you successfully made that contrast really sharp and jarring. My biggest criticism is that I didn't really get a sense that Victoria was depressed or suicidal in the second half, and thus the suicide (or plan for suicide) felt strange to me. Even though it worked well as an ending, I feel it would have benefited from a little more lead up demonstrating either a.) why/how she was depressed or b.) insight into why the monsters might have been 'luring' her into committing suicide (in the second case, you wouldn't have to make her depressed at all - she could think of suicide as the fulfillment of some sort of destiny or grand plan or something).

I also felt like the concept of the demons/monsters wasn't elaborated on as much as it could have been. Other than the fact that they were grotesque and the fact that she saw them, I don't quite understand how exactly they effected her/what they did, etc., other than seeing the result in her teenage years. (That is, was she actually possessed by one? Or did they merely corrupt her over the years? Stuff like that.)

Good on the whole, though. Very nice virgin entry into WCC. :)

- Moonstar
3/23/2013 c1 Spike
I really liked this story especially the diction that was used. In fact, it caught my eye while I was skimming for something to read and I ended up "borrowing" it sometime later to retell in my college's storytelling class. The assignment was originally intended for published works, but I figured this piece was more deserving than half the published crap I had to choose from in Barnes and Noble. Fuck it if i fail. I had fun telling it, so thanks for writing it :).
3/7/2013 c1 14R.K. Iris
Genius, absolute genius. Very well written, very well executed. Amazing story, and I really didn't anticipate any of the twists and turns that came along, so it was a ride like no other. Brilliant! :)

R. K. Iris.
3/6/2013 c1 51Luna's Child
This was an interesting story. Victoria underwent quite the personality change ever since she opened that closet. I wonder what exactly the "monsters" were? Anyways, great story, I enjoyed it.

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