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3/28/2013 c1 echoofemptiness
Urgh spiders shudder Well written story and it certainly had the creep factor for me :)
3/28/2013 c1 6Harriet Usher
I did like this piece, especially because you didn't go down the fairly standard route of making the house haunted. That said, the format sometimes made it difficult to read, particularly at the beginning. Possibly this is FP's error, but the the shortness of the lines was a bit disorienting. I think it would have flowed better if you'd put chapter breaks whenever you changed POV as well, because it goes quite suddenly from Luke, to Louise, to Annie.
There's also one line at the start in Luke's section that bothered me, where it says Louise doesn't want to leave her husband? Well, how does Luke know that? The whole section is from his perspective, and then you went to hers for about a line.
That said... yeah. Not bad. :) I feel like it could do with a little more development; 1200 words or so doesn't feel like enough to give detail to the story, but still, a good read.
3/27/2013 c1 2moonlightstay
thats alot like i wasnt already afraid of spiders

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