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4/27/2014 c1 Guest
Lovely story.
4/1/2013 c1 2Mia52
This was so depressing! I just want to pull Dinah into a hug. (;-;) Okay, now onto the review!

I liked that you occasionally slipped into second point of view and first point of view so we can get a feel for everything that is going on. I will admit that it had confused me at first, but as I read along, it made more sense and I came to like the transitions.

The second thing I liked about this was how you conveyed Dinah's feelings for Pepper. You didn't outright say that she had the feelings, but the subtle hints were enough to pick up on them. I think it was a little cute that Pepper tried to see if she could return the feelings but she couldn't bring herself to do so either out of loyalty for Ed or that she honestly doesn't feel the same way.

Ed seemed like a pushover for a little bit, but overall he just seemed real flat of a character. But it still worked for this particular piece.

I enjoyed this piece a lot. You did a great job.

-hassi158

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