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9/11/2014 c11 4Lolitroy
J'aime les chats.
8/5/2013 c2 xxxyx
Butter knife. Haha, just trust our comical pair to pull out something like that even at the tensest moment. And... blackberries... there you go!

"Imperial guard for Lumburg" sorry, I'm doubtful myself, but is 'for' suitable here? Ah, bang goes my nitpicking tendency.

An easy fight that ends with "that was scary". Amusing.

Um, hm, not much to criticize, going well. Another day going through a mangaesque story.
8/5/2013 c1 xxxyx
Hi there, dropping by. Hmm... a story written in present tense... let's see...

Gah, why have I seen this type of prologue many times and yet it still gets me!?

Lumburg. Hmm... simply the name makes readers think of the style of the setting. Not a bad choice.

Just noting that this style of writing here is a little bit thin on details. Although, manga-wise, it might be right so as to not interrupt the flow, although I have seen people write fast-paced stories with flowing yet intricate details.

Alicia sounds like the straight-forward character, whilst Leif, I think we'll need a few more chapters to understand him, which is yes, seems to be this chapter's intention. Although I'm more interested to note that, surprise, surprise, it's Alicia who possessed two pupils instead of Leif.

Looking fine for a first chapter, (if you want me to grade your chapters next times I review, you can ask, although be warned, I'm harsh on giving grades, even though I'll give even an 'F' wearing an innocent smile).

Good job though, moving on!
7/30/2013 c2 TheFreeEdge
So, wait, there're monsters called Paradoxes that give people two pupils? Okay, that explains the title. But what does Leif's food quest have to do with this?
6/16/2013 c11 13Revamp
Intetesting ghost tale in this chapter. I wonder what or who the massive figure is.
6/16/2013 c10 Revamp
So, there's a new chatacter involved now. Elliot is interesting and his song was humorous. I look forward to seeing more of him.
6/16/2013 c9 Revamp
This chapter is very confusing to the point of being lost. It felt a little too rushed. Things are left unexplained but I have a feeling they will come out in later chapters. For now, this chapter feels disjointed.
6/16/2013 c8 Revamp
Leif isn't afraid to kick some butt it seems. I like that quality about him but his fight with the assassins was almost too easy, either they were really weak or Leif is overly strong, either could be the case.
6/16/2013 c2 4BabyChan12
"This is a butter knife." - that seriously made me laugh *thumbs up*
Bwahahaha, and the blueberry thing too... Leif is really funny xD
Why doesn't Leif need treatment though...? O.o
6/6/2013 c10 8Jax Creation
The fact that I find this chapter so funny is proof that I am too easily amused. That rhyme... *facepalm*

"My manly reputation…" whimpers Elliot. "It has been… sullied!"
—ELLIOT IS KENJI [strike]Edge[/strike] IN DISGUISE!

And always glad to know that I'm not the only one who forces their characters to cross-dress... Fufufu...

Indeed, I feel trolled by last three chapters I have read (-w-)b
6/6/2013 c9 Jax Creation
...My only explanation is that she's Fal'mor—*slapped* I mean, a Paradox.

I wouldn't worry about lying to your readers. I do it all the time (-w-)b [strike]But where are the Mechas? QnQ[/strike]
6/6/2013 c8 Jax Creation
Oh my, Leify-boy has no problem killing people, does he? O.o

And lol, the cooking utensils... just like Eliah and her shackles—*shot*
6/4/2013 c10 4Benedict A.86
Just where do you get these characters?

So is there an evil twin thing going on?
5/29/2013 c9 1RodRule
I liked this new chapter I am still hanging on wanting to know what happens next from the last chapter and lying to people reading you book and it's fans it's just not right...
jk I probably would do something like that.
5/28/2013 c9 4Benedict A.86
What DAFUQ 0_0. I hope she has amnesia, I hope she has amnesia, I hope she has— Run Lief!

Nice characters. So much for true blue, honest-to-goodness
heroes.

A fair amount of theories are spinning around in my head right now. I wonder where this is going.

Sidenote: chry..san..the..mum sisters. Can I get directions?
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