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for He Said She Said

4/20/2016 c1 Wendy Thompson135th
"He's not a prince, you uneducated American fool." Jake told me & "He's a Duke." Jake admitted & "I never understood why you came here to finish high school." I muttered,

All the dialogue tagged sentences like these are incorrect: NEVER end the dialogue with a Period if the what was said part is immediately fallowed by the who said it part. If you want the jargon: Said, and any synonym of said, is a transitive noun. It requires an object to complete its meaning. This means that who said what and what was said make up one complete sentence. Correctly punctuated the examples go like this: "He's not a prince, you uneducated American fool(COMMA)," Jake told me & "He's a Duke(COMMA)," Jake admitted... . & "I never understood why you came here to finish high school(COMMA)," I muttered... .
4/19/2016 c3 Rebele
I wish Allie could just book a plane outta there so there's more drama! Well, at least for me... So when Allie leaves she could leave a letter saying she didn't want to be a burden, then she returns to California or anywhere else for a new job and... Well, that's where the writer comes in! Sounds good?
4/19/2016 c2 Rebele
Oh. My. Gosh. ! .
12/7/2013 c2 c0leyy
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN UPDATE OF THIS FOR AGES oH YMG do i'm cryING
12/7/2013 c2 Sandhya
love it plz continue writing :)
4/21/2013 c1 Meg
This is awesome! Allie and Jake. What a pair! What's this new job going to be like? How will Allie fit in NYC? What's going to happen between her and Jake? I'm so pumped to see where this story goes! Congrats on yet another hit :D
4/20/2013 c1 c0leyy
dO NOT TOUCH ME "I told him how I was in New York with my publicity agency, working on the Malloy comeback and how Tristan Malloy, although I hadn't been allowed to speak to him, seemed hilarious." I CRIED AND I SCREAMED AND THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED? /SOBS/

can i just say how much i really like this i was wondering how you came up with the title but now 'he said, she said' like over the email omfg it all makes sense now and it's actually the smartest idea that i've ever seen like ajkshdkj hANNAH i can't wait for this bc like you've told me nothing about it and it feels like a whole new experience and i just ugh uG H it's a whole new level of excitement please please write more of this soon i am desperate

ps bill sounds a bit rude omfg

update yes gOOD /CRIES/
4/19/2013 c1 12Brighton's Follies
This is a really fun read. I like the characters and the premise a lot. Well done!
4/19/2013 c1 Guitarlvr
Darn, I was typing on my phone and accidentally hit 'post review' before I finished! I'll finish it here:

But aside from a few minor errors, this story is very well written and I look forward to reading it! I wonder what twists and turns it will take! Good luck with this story and all the others! There are too many to name haha :)
4/19/2013 c1 Guitarlvr
Well, this is getting really interesting! I love how u used the whole element of surprise in the part where Allie gets the job. I think it was well written with an interesting plot! It's really dramatic too, which makes it interesting!

I did find some grammatical errors though.
"I knew his family were seriously important back in England" should be "I knew his family was..." (Family is singular)
"I'd like California when I was in college, now it had lost its spark." In this one, you imply that she was in college in the past, so it should be "I'd liked California when I was in college ..." The tenses have to agree.

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