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11/13/2022 c2 6Darth Zannacross
Elias seems to run a tight shift, and good thing to because Hykeus is rather demanding clearly, and it broke Elias already.

Well, we will see where Elias goes from here.
11/12/2022 c2 37Starart152
This is an interesting character that felt from grace. It is clear that he lost everything because of his mistakes, pride and vanity. I wonder what direction the character would go to the story. It would either go to the betterment of himself or become an antagonist in this story.
11/11/2022 c1 6Darth Zannacross
hey Ulquiorra9000 not sure if your still around but been looking at random stories and thought this was a fun one to check out.

We got Cyclops's and spaceships off the bat so nice start, the Waveskimmer seems like a cool place and Chara and Anna seem like they will kick off great things but hopefully the ride will go well for them, we will see but till then keep up the good work.
11/11/2022 c1 37Starart152
This is a good introduction to the world Chara and Anna lived. We have a little bit of lore without being too much at once.
The two sisters has a fun dynamic together and there is some tension between them that might get worse as the story goes on, before it gets better.
10/2/2013 c28 6Van Quatra
wow what a great ending, this was a gret story and i can't wait for the next one, keep it up.
10/1/2013 c28 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
Ha ha, I'm glad I could help.

I do have to say, the ending was kind of rushed, though. The final, climatic battle ending just like that, and Elias falling to his death through suicide. Oh well, I do understand the need to finish this story as soon as possible so that you can work on Ascension, but it just felt rushed. No problems, or no major problems, though, so I guess it's fine. With this, the story is complete!

I think, when you have the time, you should write an epilogue. You know, the aftermath of the war, Anna's life with Nick, Elias's wife, etc. Vandel (the fire guy) vanished though, I liked him, but he kind of disappeared off screen after a while. Kind of sad that Phillip didn't make it. They were so close to surviving with everybody!

I guess I will look forward to your next project now, as well as your feedback on my story!
9/9/2013 c27 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Oh man! I can't believe you just sentenced Hera, Phillip and Leon to death just like that! I know Leon deserves death, but the other two...it pains me to see that they won't make it out of the battle alive. Plus it was pretty reckless to have all three sorcerers consume the root. They should have at least one who doesn't so that if the war ends in defeat, or something unexpected happens, they still have a single psychic sorcerer in reserve. Throwing all your cards on the table like that is way too reckless. That's why we don't launch armies in one shot. We hold at least one platoon in reserve while the rest of the battalion strikes first.

As for Chara, it wasn't so much the predictability I had an issue with but the convenience. It kind of felt too contrived, you know, like out of the millions under Elias's control it just had to be the main character's sister, and she just had to break out in the final battle. Like too many unlikely coincidences happening in one shot, if you get what I mean.

Anyway, this was an awesome chapter! I love your descriptions of the battle, the war, the clashing of sorcery. I mean, it's amazing to read about how the elements like water, lightning and fire all smashing into the enemy ranks, and the way the immense psychic powers rippled out of the psychic trio was just so cool (but I feel sad that I will never see them again).

Looking forward to the next chapter!
9/6/2013 c26 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Wow, you're fast as usual! What an update that was, and it was a nice surprise to see the Akti Union use those gorgons right back on the Chrysos Federation. Eye for an eye, eh? Ha ha ha!

And I can't wait for the assault! It was a nice touch, adding those new technology of grapeshot munnitions. Awesome, I can't wait to see what kind of damage that will do! And the amphibious assault reminds me of my favorite marines! Semper fi! All hail the United States Marine Corps! I wonder if they have marines in the Dassos Combine or Akti Union or Thalai League as well. That would be fun.

But it was kind of unexpected for Chara to just break free of Elias's control like that. I don't know, it seemed all too coincidental and contrived. I mean, why her and not the others? And why on the eve of a major battle? It just seems so convenient. I was thinking that the major challenge would be for Anna to save her from mental enslavery, but this just means the sisters only need to catch each other for the thing to resolve. Kind of defeats the purpose of having Chara fall into Elias's trance in the first place. Might as well make her a prisoner or hostage from the start, that would make it more believable than her suddenly shrugging off Elias's mental chains.

Well, other than that it was an awesome chapter and I look forward to the next one!
8/30/2013 c25 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Aww, I thought they would at least kill the gorgon. Oh well. I thought you said it could be killed. It would be great if they could actually kill it, though. Ha ha.

Well, nice chapter as usual. I was half expecting the sorcerers to kill the gorgon with sorcery, but I guess not. That's too bad then. I wonder what will happen if the vision-man unleashes an army of gorgons on the Akti Union. That will be bad news indeed.

Looking forward to the next chapter!
8/25/2013 c24 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Hell yeah, this battle is only the beginning. I'm looking forward to what unfolds in future and what else Elias or the Vision-man has in store for the world. This is getting more exciting! Not that it isn't already exciting to begin with, but hey, it just keeps rising!

And yeah, you kept your word and posted the story in less than 24 hours! Ha ha! Awesome. While I found myself pegged back to square one last week, your story has already reached 24 chapters! I will never be able to catch up!

Shame about the ice sorcerer though. I liked him a lot (yeah because Tomoyuki uses ice, ha ha!). Why did he have to die? In any case, the moment you didn't name both the ice and water sorcerers, I knew they were destined to die. They were like cannon fodder, denied names, identities, characteristics and individuality so that we don't feel anything when they get offed. Personally I think you should have given them names and character so that when they die there's more impact. The readers actually feel something when they die rather than, "oh, those cannon fodder dudes whose names I don't even know died. Well, I knew it."

Looking forward to your next chapter!
8/20/2013 c23 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Awesome! And fast! You're writing and updating too quickly for me to catch up! But I will do my best!

Anna might be stupid, selfish and toying with Nick's feelings, but...I forgive her. She's only human after all, and there's only so much she can take before she breaks. I hope Nick forgives her eventually, though it seems like he has, considering he had just run to rescue her.

The fire wielding minotaurs, are they the secret weapon Elias or the vision man was holding in reserve? Makes sense, since they are so powerful. The poor guys, I hope they get released from this torture soon enough. Must be horrifying to be mentally enslaved then get leeches stuck all over your body. Yuck. And the poor water sorcerer. What a horrible way to die.

Can't wait to see what happens next! As always, looking forward to the next chapter!
8/14/2013 c22 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Wow! That was fast! I just read the last chapter, well, on Monday, and in two days you already have a new chapter up! What are you, a speed-writer? You're too fast for me to catch up!

The scene with Anna and Nick came out of nowhere and caught me totally off guard. I'm not sure if Anna would become aggressive just from feeling a kinship with Nick. And like I said, there are plenty of other guys around, so her choosing of Nick of all people wasn't exactly convincing. Well, you went ahead and did it, so it's done. I'll just accept it as it is. It's just a little too fast and abrupt for me, especially since Anna showed little indications of attraction to Nick prior to this. I know she trusted him and all, before this, but suddenly moving to a relationship of a romantic level? Seemed like a curveball thrown out of nowhere.

And the Vision-man is really stretching it. If he kills Elias with his stupidity, I'll be sad. I wonder what other schemes he is plotting.
8/12/2013 c21 Tomoyuki Tanaka
NOOO! MWIBU! Brave fella, wasn't he? Why did he have to die?!

Well, he might not be dead, come to think of it. I wouldn't be surprised if he shows up well and alive later. I just hope he doesn't get mind controlled by the Vision-Man.

Nice chapter, the war has begun with aplomb, as expected of you. Nicely written, and I'm glad to see the cast assemble, though I'm wondering. Where's Nick? I don't see him anywhere. I do hope he shows up sooner or later, and Mwibu beside him (okay, now that's asking too much).

Glad to see the lightning bitch dead...erm, I don't mean Anna but the other one. Anyway, also fresh to see Anna cooperating with everyone else instead of the one-man shows I tend to have my characters pull (yeah, you'll probably thinking how awful my fight scenes are when Tomoyuki hogs all the glory in Wrath, sorry to put you through such horrible writing). Well, hope to see more of the Union army!

Speaking of which, Chara has disappeared for a very, very long time. I haven't seen her for almost twenty chapters! I hope she's not dead. After all, her sister is looking for her all this while. Will be a sad twist if Anna suddenly finds Chara dead in the end. But it's all up to you!
8/6/2013 c20 Tomoyuki Tanaka
That is fast. Just a few days and already you have a chapter up and running. I can't catch up! Argh! I'm trying my best, but I'm really lagging behind. Oh dear, oh dear.

Well, not much to say here since not much happened, but it was still a major turning point in the story. Even Elias has his limits, it seems. He did seem too powerful at first, able to gain control of the entire federation, but good to see he's reached his breaking point. It makes him more human. YAY! Even the Vision-man isn't fallible. And the guy has revealed his true colors. I hope Elias wrests back control from him or something. Oh well.

As for Nick and Anna, hmmm...already a month, huh? I didn't expect time to fly by so quickly. And it's so good to see Mwibu again! Ha ha, after the encounter with the Gorgon, I was wondering how he fared. Good to see him alive and well, even if he's an outcast. It doesn't matter. As long as Mwibu is alive, he can regain his honor! Go, Mwibu, go!

Looking forward to the next chapter! Wondering what Elias has up his sleeves, and what he will be planning to unleash soon enough!
7/31/2013 c19 Tomoyuki Tanaka
Poor Elias. I hate it when someone takes control of my body and uses it to do stuff I wouldn't do. I sympathize with him. I hope he kills the Vision-man soon.

Ha ha! Good to see Nick nicking his own mind and personality back! I hope he'll recover and be back on his feet as soon as possible! I hope he'll play a bigger part in the story. Speaking of which, I wonder where Vandel is? He will show up again, I hope.

And that nurse is not very nice. They were having a heartwarming conversation and she just had to interrupt them. I'm sure nurses are normally more compassionate and understanding than that. Then again, she's a field medic, not strictly a nurse.

I can't wait to see what else Elias, or the Vision Man has in his sleeve. It will be good! Looking forward to the next chapter!
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