for The Story of Elle6/17/2014 c3 Guest
Cool setting! The world that you made is really interesting and quite complicated as it seems. Aria seems to be an interesting character. Clearly very talented at many things.
Cool setting! The world that you made is really interesting and quite complicated as it seems. Aria seems to be an interesting character. Clearly very talented at many things.
7/24/2013 c3 
5MyHeart's4Above
I'm probably going to forgot all those terms and names, lol. It takes me a while to remember fantasy type words. XD
Anyhoo, lovely chapter! I say that, although it didnt have much action ir whatnot, but just the way it was written was impeccable. It was excellent balance of action and dialogue, it had good sentence variation and the action and dialogue verbs were greatly varied, it was awesome (no he said, she said, or he went, she went, ugggh that is so annoying when that happens) No, you did excellent in that arena. Also, mooost importantly, the aspect always most noticed by readers, is the flow. The flow in this chapter was I think so much better (probably becaues we are in mid story, no long expository description and such). The flow was so smooth and brisk, even when the background of Aria was gone over. You made it that way by excellent dialogue that was to the point, and action that meshed with the dialogue to a tee.
Alrighty, lovely! Good job. Carry on. ;)
5MyHeart's4AboveI'm probably going to forgot all those terms and names, lol. It takes me a while to remember fantasy type words. XD
Anyhoo, lovely chapter! I say that, although it didnt have much action ir whatnot, but just the way it was written was impeccable. It was excellent balance of action and dialogue, it had good sentence variation and the action and dialogue verbs were greatly varied, it was awesome (no he said, she said, or he went, she went, ugggh that is so annoying when that happens) No, you did excellent in that arena. Also, mooost importantly, the aspect always most noticed by readers, is the flow. The flow in this chapter was I think so much better (probably becaues we are in mid story, no long expository description and such). The flow was so smooth and brisk, even when the background of Aria was gone over. You made it that way by excellent dialogue that was to the point, and action that meshed with the dialogue to a tee.
Alrighty, lovely! Good job. Carry on. ;)
7/23/2013 c2 6TVH Bookfan
This seems interesting so far, but some things are still confusing.
First of all, where does this story take place? I can tell it's around the middle ages, but I'm not sure about the actual location.
Also, is Aria suppose to be at a school for warriors? Hard to tell by how it's suppose to be an orphanage run by women known as sisters.
6TVH BookfanThis seems interesting so far, but some things are still confusing.
First of all, where does this story take place? I can tell it's around the middle ages, but I'm not sure about the actual location.
Also, is Aria suppose to be at a school for warriors? Hard to tell by how it's suppose to be an orphanage run by women known as sisters.
7/21/2013 c1 5MyHeart's4Above
Hmm interesting. Was she dead and floating above the boat? You write well!
5MyHeart's4AboveHmm interesting. Was she dead and floating above the boat? You write well!
7/17/2013 c2 MyHeart's4Above
Very well written chapter. It is good the Elders actually wanted to help, and not punish Aria.
"girl trained in the art of combat must also be taught decorum and modern fashion". The idea of that is quite funny, and seems to be a cool idea for another story. Also I like how the elders want to see Aria control herself, its not all about talent. That is wise.
Your writing is good, sometimes it gets kinda bogged down, but thats because you must show background story. Hmmm dont be discouraged about reviews, if you truly love writing and do it for fun, reviews is just that added bonus, not something that directs the fate of whether a story should be taken down. But I see how you feel. Kay, good luck, and please update. :)
Very well written chapter. It is good the Elders actually wanted to help, and not punish Aria.
"girl trained in the art of combat must also be taught decorum and modern fashion". The idea of that is quite funny, and seems to be a cool idea for another story. Also I like how the elders want to see Aria control herself, its not all about talent. That is wise.
Your writing is good, sometimes it gets kinda bogged down, but thats because you must show background story. Hmmm dont be discouraged about reviews, if you truly love writing and do it for fun, reviews is just that added bonus, not something that directs the fate of whether a story should be taken down. But I see how you feel. Kay, good luck, and please update. :)