Just In
for Just Desserts

10/23/2005 c1 1jasilcock
There's a good idea behind the story itself and some good description, such as the sunset.

However, I think maybe you could have done with some more detail throughout and maybe spread out your descriptions and exposition a bit more? As well as telling the reader slightly less about the pumpkin until nearer the end so there's more of a surprise...

Other than that, the story line and idea has a lot of potential and I'd love to read your other version of it. :)
7/2/2004 c1 FrozenKiwi
I recognize a line... OH! It's from a book by Chris van Alsburg (sp?). The one about "She lowered the knife and it grew even brighter." And the picture was entitled Just Desserts. Whoo. Um, the story is fairly good. I don't really get the ending.
6/27/2001 c1 1Meiou Setsuna
omg! This is sooo weird... ok listen when i was in 4th grade wer had to creeate a sory froma picture we saw and the picture i had was a fightened women when she stuck the knife in the pumkin well i created a story omg almost exactly like this one and it was called Just Dessert ong liike this is soooo freaky and of course i like the story ...you have goood taste considering we wrote almost the same thing with out noing about each other... Well good job! :)
6/16/2001 c1 Mari Rueter
This is really freaky when I read the last part, it just chilled me to the bones like all the other scary stories I read. I think it does belong to the mystery, but maybe in the scary stories category.

-Mari PS it looks good!
6/13/2001 c1 4Cherubic Sasami
Hilde: *takes big bite of cursed pumpkin pie* Ooooh, NOW I get it. CS: Anyway, very nice, very nice (even if I did find it through shameless self promotion) Kidding, kidding. Anyway, very creative!
6/11/2001 c1 Emily M. Hanson
This is good, very original. That ending could have stood on its own (many fairy-tale type stories are like that), unless you wanted to resolve the situation. That would be interesting to see.

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