
1/1/2016 c21 Guest
Great story. I loved all the shit that went down in the middle with the bar, facebook, moving back home... Just an awesome clusterfuck.
A few grammar errors:
- loosing is not a word in the context in which it was used, the word that should have been used is losing
- I noticed the incorrect usage of words passed and past. One is an adjective, one is a verb. I saw this mix up a number of times.
Otherwise great story. Thanks so much!
Great story. I loved all the shit that went down in the middle with the bar, facebook, moving back home... Just an awesome clusterfuck.
A few grammar errors:
- loosing is not a word in the context in which it was used, the word that should have been used is losing
- I noticed the incorrect usage of words passed and past. One is an adjective, one is a verb. I saw this mix up a number of times.
Otherwise great story. Thanks so much!
1/1/2016 c20 Guest
Wow. Great chapter. I laughed, cried, and was thrilled by fabulous smut.
Perfect.
Wow. Great chapter. I laughed, cried, and was thrilled by fabulous smut.
Perfect.
8/8/2015 c21 Turnipy
Read in one sitting. Lighter than I first expected, but I liked it. Thanks for sharing.
Read in one sitting. Lighter than I first expected, but I liked it. Thanks for sharing.
10/4/2014 c7 arjun
hey pantu,
i love reading ur work. its awesome. keep up the good writing. its new and unique. much better than some of the published work.
hey pantu,
i love reading ur work. its awesome. keep up the good writing. its new and unique. much better than some of the published work.
4/16/2014 c1
1amiobsessed
I just finished reading the last chapter last night at 1am and wow, I can definitely conclude this was a brilliant, worthy read. I love your story. Nour is such a like able character, he has that kind of aura that allows you to relate to him, he does to me at least. I think he was an excellent narrator, and we can really see his character growth and development throughout the chapters which is a beautiful thing to witness.
The scenes I really adored throughout the story was Lachlan and Nour's first fuck after years of absence from each other. How he told him a 'story' was a creative way to narrate past events in a dark but really sexy way. Another scene I found myself smiling at was the flashback of their childhood days, especially when the two clueless boys snuggled against each other in the bed. The fact that they had an 'unspoken promise' towards each other was just adorable. They were in love and they didn't even know it. I like how you kept it realistic, that Nour ended up going on the date with the girl, despite breaking that unspoken promise. Lastly, what makes me so pleased is that we finally witness Nour's genuine happiness in the last chapter, set in 5 years ahead of time. In comparison to the previously closeted Nour, you can really see the very clear difference in his contentment and the source of happiness is clear, Lachlan.
Another thing I'd like to compliment about is the use of names. Nour, Lachlan, Stark, Urey -beautiful choice of names. Unique and memorable as well.
I just adore your writing style and I honestly think this deserves way more reviews. Looking forward to read more of your stuff.

I just finished reading the last chapter last night at 1am and wow, I can definitely conclude this was a brilliant, worthy read. I love your story. Nour is such a like able character, he has that kind of aura that allows you to relate to him, he does to me at least. I think he was an excellent narrator, and we can really see his character growth and development throughout the chapters which is a beautiful thing to witness.
The scenes I really adored throughout the story was Lachlan and Nour's first fuck after years of absence from each other. How he told him a 'story' was a creative way to narrate past events in a dark but really sexy way. Another scene I found myself smiling at was the flashback of their childhood days, especially when the two clueless boys snuggled against each other in the bed. The fact that they had an 'unspoken promise' towards each other was just adorable. They were in love and they didn't even know it. I like how you kept it realistic, that Nour ended up going on the date with the girl, despite breaking that unspoken promise. Lastly, what makes me so pleased is that we finally witness Nour's genuine happiness in the last chapter, set in 5 years ahead of time. In comparison to the previously closeted Nour, you can really see the very clear difference in his contentment and the source of happiness is clear, Lachlan.
Another thing I'd like to compliment about is the use of names. Nour, Lachlan, Stark, Urey -beautiful choice of names. Unique and memorable as well.
I just adore your writing style and I honestly think this deserves way more reviews. Looking forward to read more of your stuff.
11/29/2013 c21 myself
I can honestly say that this was my favorite story of this kind so far in this site. The main characters, the ambience, the story and the progression of events were very well explored (maybe not perfect, but very very good nonetheless). I reeeeaally loved the angst theme as well as Nour and Lachlan's dark personalities and how they ended up in the end. It was soppy and mushy but it felt right after all that twistedness. They deserved their happy ending. )
Keep writing, it seems to be a natural talent for you!
I can honestly say that this was my favorite story of this kind so far in this site. The main characters, the ambience, the story and the progression of events were very well explored (maybe not perfect, but very very good nonetheless). I reeeeaally loved the angst theme as well as Nour and Lachlan's dark personalities and how they ended up in the end. It was soppy and mushy but it felt right after all that twistedness. They deserved their happy ending. )
Keep writing, it seems to be a natural talent for you!
8/30/2013 c9 MintyChapstick
Oh you write such good smutty smut scenes. :D Also I like this story so far, definitely an original plot.
Oh you write such good smutty smut scenes. :D Also I like this story so far, definitely an original plot.
7/20/2013 c20 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
Underneath all that posturing Lachlan is so easy and soft hearted :) every time Nour messed up.
'Twilight was already giving way to night but above him the sky clung to the last remnants of the daytime, a pale grey halo.'- lovely description.
I've really enjoyed reading this story and I'm sure I will continue to think about these characters. Thank you so much for posting this here:) (I'll read the epilogue now)
Sukix
Underneath all that posturing Lachlan is so easy and soft hearted :) every time Nour messed up.
'Twilight was already giving way to night but above him the sky clung to the last remnants of the daytime, a pale grey halo.'- lovely description.
I've really enjoyed reading this story and I'm sure I will continue to think about these characters. Thank you so much for posting this here:) (I'll read the epilogue now)
Sukix
7/20/2013 c18 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
I really like the whole aspect of nour getting his life back on track and getting himself sorted before trying to sort out what happened between him and lachlan:)
Suki
I really like the whole aspect of nour getting his life back on track and getting himself sorted before trying to sort out what happened between him and lachlan:)
Suki
7/18/2013 c17 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
Oooh nice! I feel so happy you've brought in this ray of hope with Nour's emancipation, nice touch, I like the surprise of it, and it's pleasing to know Nour was working toward something positive in his future and not being thoroughly broken by his parents.
Suki
Oooh nice! I feel so happy you've brought in this ray of hope with Nour's emancipation, nice touch, I like the surprise of it, and it's pleasing to know Nour was working toward something positive in his future and not being thoroughly broken by his parents.
Suki
7/18/2013 c16 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
I really like how you've developed and portrayed Nour and Glyn's relationship and this sentence is just great-
'You think being a dick is going to make me stop being your friend? Well news flash, you've always been a dick.'
And at the end too when Nour knows there will be a scout at the running, made me feel more deeply about Nour.
I was surprised there wasn't more angst at the beginning of this chapter- you showed Nour is great at suppressing his feelings but I was a bit surprised to find it had been two months since where the last chapter ended and he seems much the same, not worn down or showing signs of not wanting to take living this lie anymore.
Can't wait to read the next!
Suki
I really like how you've developed and portrayed Nour and Glyn's relationship and this sentence is just great-
'You think being a dick is going to make me stop being your friend? Well news flash, you've always been a dick.'
And at the end too when Nour knows there will be a scout at the running, made me feel more deeply about Nour.
I was surprised there wasn't more angst at the beginning of this chapter- you showed Nour is great at suppressing his feelings but I was a bit surprised to find it had been two months since where the last chapter ended and he seems much the same, not worn down or showing signs of not wanting to take living this lie anymore.
Can't wait to read the next!
Suki
7/16/2013 c15 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
Oh dear:( So Urey decked him because Nour was said he was giving up his relationship with Lachlan?
It was Glyn's reaction at the end that made the chapter for me- the outsider looking in and seeing how awful things really are when the narrator is too much in the middle of it.
Look forward to more!
Sukix
Oh dear:( So Urey decked him because Nour was said he was giving up his relationship with Lachlan?
It was Glyn's reaction at the end that made the chapter for me- the outsider looking in and seeing how awful things really are when the narrator is too much in the middle of it.
Look forward to more!
Sukix
7/16/2013 c14 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
Oh, no, that has escalated horribly. I really like how you built this up, (and I had no idea what the red number over the blue f was at first- as I don't use facebook:P) with his phone buzzing seemingly innocuously, and then that many messages and THEN his parents, great stuff. I'm hoping this turns out to be cathartic in the end!
Oh and I forgot to say I really like Urey and Stark in the last chapter and I like the leftfield name choices:)
Sukix
Oh, no, that has escalated horribly. I really like how you built this up, (and I had no idea what the red number over the blue f was at first- as I don't use facebook:P) with his phone buzzing seemingly innocuously, and then that many messages and THEN his parents, great stuff. I'm hoping this turns out to be cathartic in the end!
Oh and I forgot to say I really like Urey and Stark in the last chapter and I like the leftfield name choices:)
Sukix
7/16/2013 c13 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
Ah no, poor Nour. I'm thinking this is set present day (?) and I hope this sort of reaction at a university bar to same sex relationships is in the past (in real life anyway!).
Ah no, poor Nour. I'm thinking this is set present day (?) and I hope this sort of reaction at a university bar to same sex relationships is in the past (in real life anyway!).
7/13/2013 c12 nffhkasjfnbsdkjb
Aw this was dead sweet:) loved it. The balance between the painful past and how much they've hurt each other and the sweetness between them now is perfect. Look forward to seeing where the next chapters are going!
Suki
Aw this was dead sweet:) loved it. The balance between the painful past and how much they've hurt each other and the sweetness between them now is perfect. Look forward to seeing where the next chapters are going!
Suki