for Heading For Sun9/19/2013 c8 
2Marguerite Grimmett
Hey, sorry I didn't review a long time ago. I think my inbox filtered out the email for alerting me of a new chapter being uploaded.
Anyway, really good chapter! I like how Tara and Ani reveal to each other their stories.
2Marguerite GrimmettHey, sorry I didn't review a long time ago. I think my inbox filtered out the email for alerting me of a new chapter being uploaded.
Anyway, really good chapter! I like how Tara and Ani reveal to each other their stories.
7/31/2013 c3 3SellTheeSoul4Bacon
Well, there are good things and bad things about this story. Good: Original plot, awesome characters, and realistic. I think the characters is probably the best part about it. They seem REAL and sympathetic without self-pity. And they're all pretty different personality wise. They compliment each other.
Bad-ish: I feel like you should add more detail. It seems kinda bare at parts. It didn't really grab me when I first started. You should define the character's conflict/stakes more.
Overall, I like it, but it could use a bit more improvement. But, then again, what couldn't use some improvement?
3SellTheeSoul4BaconWell, there are good things and bad things about this story. Good: Original plot, awesome characters, and realistic. I think the characters is probably the best part about it. They seem REAL and sympathetic without self-pity. And they're all pretty different personality wise. They compliment each other.
Bad-ish: I feel like you should add more detail. It seems kinda bare at parts. It didn't really grab me when I first started. You should define the character's conflict/stakes more.
Overall, I like it, but it could use a bit more improvement. But, then again, what couldn't use some improvement?
7/30/2013 c4 6TheGirlAtMidnight
Sweet and hopeful. The characters are likeable,too, Ani in particular. Keep up the good work!
6TheGirlAtMidnightSweet and hopeful. The characters are likeable,too, Ani in particular. Keep up the good work!
7/30/2013 c1 rjhoagihrghdkfhgo839
I absolutely love this story. The characters are all so interesting, and I love all the little parts you add in like "metaphor battles." The writing was all done well, as was the dialogue. One thing I could suggest is to make the paragraphs a bit longer, as they seem to jump around to much at some parts. But other than that, great story!
I absolutely love this story. The characters are all so interesting, and I love all the little parts you add in like "metaphor battles." The writing was all done well, as was the dialogue. One thing I could suggest is to make the paragraphs a bit longer, as they seem to jump around to much at some parts. But other than that, great story!
7/26/2013 c7 2Marguerite Grimmett
Excellent as usual! I really like how Jessie cherishes what she has, and loves swimming. And that she indulges in stuff she shouldn't eat just because she can. Jessie's awesome! :) Oh, and the Tara-Sammy relationship is really interesting- can't wait to see if Sammy gets to cross off the kiss thing on his bucket list. :)
2Marguerite GrimmettExcellent as usual! I really like how Jessie cherishes what she has, and loves swimming. And that she indulges in stuff she shouldn't eat just because she can. Jessie's awesome! :) Oh, and the Tara-Sammy relationship is really interesting- can't wait to see if Sammy gets to cross off the kiss thing on his bucket list. :)
7/20/2013 c6 Marguerite Grimmett
Oh, wow, I loved this chapter. It's all really realistic. And Sammy and Tara talking are so cute :)
Oh, wow, I loved this chapter. It's all really realistic. And Sammy and Tara talking are so cute :)
7/20/2013 c1 adsiderum
I really liked your characterization of Tara. Minus the cancer, I was able to easily connect to her. She is very relatable. I know that many authors find that difficult to do, so I give you two thumbs up! :)
I really liked your characterization of Tara. Minus the cancer, I was able to easily connect to her. She is very relatable. I know that many authors find that difficult to do, so I give you two thumbs up! :)
7/14/2013 c5 2Marguerite Grimmett
I cannot express how much this story rocks! Your writing is really, really good. :) Keep writing! Can't wait for the next chapter!
2Marguerite GrimmettI cannot express how much this story rocks! Your writing is really, really good. :) Keep writing! Can't wait for the next chapter!
7/5/2013 c4 9Purpletastic
lol an onion :) nice simile. i like ani, she reminds me of Hazel from TFIOS
9Purpletasticlol an onion :) nice simile. i like ani, she reminds me of Hazel from TFIOS
7/5/2013 c4 2Marguerite Grimmett
Do I need to say how much I love this? This should be published. This is awesome. I love this story. Good writing! :D And the onion thing is really funny. And a good analogy, too.
2Marguerite GrimmettDo I need to say how much I love this? This should be published. This is awesome. I love this story. Good writing! :D And the onion thing is really funny. And a good analogy, too.
7/4/2013 c3 9Purpletastic
hello there! I love how the chapters are so happy and how the kids are unfazed by their diseases, it really shows people with disabilities and diseases cope with it :D I really like Tara, and Ani a lot, they sound pretty interesting, not to mention Jessie and Sammy too
9Purpletastichello there! I love how the chapters are so happy and how the kids are unfazed by their diseases, it really shows people with disabilities and diseases cope with it :D I really like Tara, and Ani a lot, they sound pretty interesting, not to mention Jessie and Sammy too
7/1/2013 c3 18Koi19
This is pretty well written and I positively adore how very distinct your character voices are. It feels like forging friendships and I like that. I hope to see more, even if it'll be a sad ending.
My only (super minor) issue is the random spelling grammar mistakes. They can be a bit jarring and interrupt the flow of the story.
Otherwise, good work.
18Koi19This is pretty well written and I positively adore how very distinct your character voices are. It feels like forging friendships and I like that. I hope to see more, even if it'll be a sad ending.
My only (super minor) issue is the random spelling grammar mistakes. They can be a bit jarring and interrupt the flow of the story.
Otherwise, good work.
7/1/2013 c3 2Marguerite Grimmett
This is a really great story! Your description is really good, and not to mention no grammar mistakes. Phew. :P
Ani would never be one to die her hair. [Er, it's 'dye', not 'die', your hair. I think.]
Good writing! :)
2Marguerite GrimmettThis is a really great story! Your description is really good, and not to mention no grammar mistakes. Phew. :P
Ani would never be one to die her hair. [Er, it's 'dye', not 'die', your hair. I think.]
Good writing! :)
7/1/2013 c1 1how to be a heartbreaker
Ahhh! Why does your writing always have to be perfect!? :) I seriously love this and the summary is amazing, are you sure you aren't already a famous writer? 'Cos I'm not kidding, this is really good and so heartfelt and bittersweet!
Thanks for writing this, it's brilliant so far!
Sophie
1how to be a heartbreakerAhhh! Why does your writing always have to be perfect!? :) I seriously love this and the summary is amazing, are you sure you aren't already a famous writer? 'Cos I'm not kidding, this is really good and so heartfelt and bittersweet!
Thanks for writing this, it's brilliant so far!
Sophie