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for Burning Lira

11/4/2013 c2 1Nooriginalitywhatsoever
I LOVE HER. Her personality is so freaking amazing.
Love your sense of humor.
And if you don't update, I'll track you down :P
7/31/2013 c2 3Ruby Sue
Definitely caught my attention! I love the complex characterization. The bit about the flowers in the beginning really set the stage. Lira seems absolutely wicked but funny and secretly kinder than she is letting on. Excited to read more!
7/23/2013 c2 2Soggiest.v2
Ah, so that is why Lira is in captivity. Lira is a beautiful name by the way.

This Sylar guy does not seem to be who she was referring to in the first chapter, so it leaves me to wonder when he'll show up. Sylar sounds interesting though, and wow, his poor dick. I can only imagine how much that would have hurt.

Lira being slightly insane is fun. I like insane, and it is indeed fun to write it.

I suppose she isn't really imprisoned, I mean it sounds like they wouldn't be able to contain her if she actually wanted to leave. I'm a bit confused though, her prison in the homeless shelter, right? She comments, "Sometimes I wonder why I even continue to run my unconventional homeless shelter. Then I remember that it's the only thing keeping me alive." So what I gather from that is, she would have been killed if not for going into captivity because she is a Sapper and was killing vampires? That does make sense.

This chapter did seem to be an informationy sorta one and didn't hold too much action, so I'm excited for when it'll all pick up. I'd assume that'll when Sylar shows up.

I liked the fact that she sells blood because it further portrays her power and influence. Life Juice is a funny name, but it works.

"Therefore I crank up the price, because well, I can." I loved this line.
7/23/2013 c1 Soggiest.v2
This first chapter was intriguing. The long talks of flowers and roses might have been cliche if not for the fact that she was entirely focused on revenge. I liked your spin on that aspect.

She is imprisoned, which is interesting. It makes me wonder why she is there and why she is allowed random visitors. Is she mad? Has she done unspeakable things so she then has been locked up? This is a supernatural world, so surely they have not imprisoned her just because she is a vampire.

Your foreshadowing of this man makes me really want to know who he is. He seems to be her maker, for he "killed" her. I can only imagine what he will be like. How exciting.

"Old habits die hard, and I am as old as they come." I loved this line. It just flowed so nicely.

On to the next chapter!
7/22/2013 c2 Nyx Nuit
7/22/2013 c2 1Unxious Custard
Your character becomes more and more interesting. What evil malevolence within her character. What arrogance to assume she is helping humans. Yet there are threads that make us feel this person at least has self knowledge enough to know when she is wrong, and is not beyond redemption. This takes some real writing talent. There is an explanation of sappers in the middle of this chapter that I felt would be better broken up across the chapter so we didn't feel we were being forcefed information. This has the makings of a very interesting story. Good luck with it. I hope you will return the review on my story, Psychics v Terrorists - a modern fantasy, set in England.
7/22/2013 c1 Unxious Custard
Hi a very interesting style, with the transience and fragile nature of flowers compared to the aged one. That said, I think there are times you need to move into the world of show rather than tell. For example: just out of reach of the foreign concept of happiness. Why is happiness foreign? How does this being know about it if it is foreign? Is the vampire in a state of unhappyness, or just not happy? If you wrote it like this for example: to be able to better their life, to watch them prosper and grow, gives me a sense of purpose. Not happiness. No. I have heard people speak of happiness, watched their eyes light up, but have never felt within me that bubble that seems to fill them from the inside out. I will not delusion myself. I think the right clause is I will not delude myself - sorry to be picky. I enjoyed the fire as the means to gratification of this person - it gave a real insight into the character.
7/17/2013 c2 CyhAnide
This does a really good job of explaining the overall situation of things without killing the reader with info-dump. Lira seems to fall into that special category of crazy where she only acts on it when it suits her, and Eli is a very nice anchor point. So far, this is all very intriguing. Having more than one kind of vampire really spices things up, and I can't wait to see how the werewolves will eventually fit into everything.

Keep it up! I would have reviewed sooner, but all kinds of life got in the way. I hope the ideas keep flowing for you. Once you've got all the key exposition out of the way, I'm sure it will become easier to fly through the chapters.

7/13/2013 c2 2Isla Corinne
Looking forward to reading about when Lira sees Sylar again. You did great on explaining things and it kept my attention. This chapter was both insightful and interesting. Can't wait for your next update!
7/7/2013 c1 CyhAnide
I'm liking this already! ON WITH THE CRAZY!

I love the crazy.

Oh, but one little thing: [...and my entire existence now revolved around finding some sense of closure. With the death of my flowers I get but a taste.]
- "revolved" switches tense randomly. If you want the prologue to be a present-tense sort of deal, then you should maintain it throughout. "revolves" would keep to that theme. (Also, "d" and "s" are right next to each other, so this could totally just be a typo, and I'll end up as the dirtbag who went on a long diatribe about it. XD)

Other than that, this is so twisted and wonderful. I can't wait to dig into the details of this one. An excellent prologue!

...I like to burn my lavender bush, but that's mostly because I like the smell. Mmm...lavender.

7/7/2013 c1 Isla Corinne
You write beautifully and so descriptive. I really enjoyed reading this prologue. Will be waiting for your next update and can't wait to read how this story plays out.

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