for Love Is Love Arc 1: Striking The Distance10/28/2017 c3 
13alltheeagles
The way Kyo talks about Messiah, I'd want to be M's GF too! Guys like that - hot without showing off - are exactly my type. But nah, I won't fight over him with K. Hope you get over that writers' block soon!
13alltheeaglesThe way Kyo talks about Messiah, I'd want to be M's GF too! Guys like that - hot without showing off - are exactly my type. But nah, I won't fight over him with K. Hope you get over that writers' block soon!
10/23/2017 c2 alltheeagles
OH, it was the other way round. Well never mind, that works too - it'd be fun to find out how things got to the situation in the previous chapter. I kind of like Suzie, strangely enough. Maybe cause I'm a little bit like her... :P
OH, it was the other way round. Well never mind, that works too - it'd be fun to find out how things got to the situation in the previous chapter. I kind of like Suzie, strangely enough. Maybe cause I'm a little bit like her... :P
10/23/2017 c1 alltheeagles
WOw, you didn't stint on the dramatic opening! Well the stage is set for something big - a confrontation, a warm scene of acceptance, shouting, screaming, hugs...? Can't wait to find out
WOw, you didn't stint on the dramatic opening! Well the stage is set for something big - a confrontation, a warm scene of acceptance, shouting, screaming, hugs...? Can't wait to find out
4/24/2016 c1 TotoDaDog
Sorry, not logged in, but here I am! I really liked this! Fear unfolded at the beggining, but I'm glad it worked out :) Too bad his dad walked in at the end XP
Can't wait to read more, and see how the story continues from here.
-Toto
Ps. loved the poem at the begging!
Sorry, not logged in, but here I am! I really liked this! Fear unfolded at the beggining, but I'm glad it worked out :) Too bad his dad walked in at the end XP
Can't wait to read more, and see how the story continues from here.
-Toto
Ps. loved the poem at the begging!
3/17/2014 c1 2Kicks-and-Giggles
It's very clear that you have all the right ideas for this story in your mind! I could understand what you were trying to say and it came off powerfully. However, your sentence structure, grammar, and spelling could use help. Have you tried finding someone to edit/beta for you? I think they can help you clear this up pretty easily!
I particularly liked the dilemma you described at the beginning - of these two enemies who became friends because of their shared desire to beat each other to popularity or status or whatever it is they were trying to get. It's not a plot that's typically explored: enemies may become friends, but they don't continue to be enemies even though they are aware of their friendship, you know? I think that's very interesting!
I'm not a big fan of romance, to be honest... which is weird 'cuz I'm writing romances, but I just don't like reading the physical stuff. Then again, you warned us there would be physical stuff, so I can't complain. :) I think it may be better if you spoke of an emotional connection between the boys as they were kissing, though, because - as it stands - that part of the scene comes off very clinical and a tad bit vulgar, I think? But that's just my opinion. :)
2Kicks-and-GigglesIt's very clear that you have all the right ideas for this story in your mind! I could understand what you were trying to say and it came off powerfully. However, your sentence structure, grammar, and spelling could use help. Have you tried finding someone to edit/beta for you? I think they can help you clear this up pretty easily!
I particularly liked the dilemma you described at the beginning - of these two enemies who became friends because of their shared desire to beat each other to popularity or status or whatever it is they were trying to get. It's not a plot that's typically explored: enemies may become friends, but they don't continue to be enemies even though they are aware of their friendship, you know? I think that's very interesting!
I'm not a big fan of romance, to be honest... which is weird 'cuz I'm writing romances, but I just don't like reading the physical stuff. Then again, you warned us there would be physical stuff, so I can't complain. :) I think it may be better if you spoke of an emotional connection between the boys as they were kissing, though, because - as it stands - that part of the scene comes off very clinical and a tad bit vulgar, I think? But that's just my opinion. :)
3/10/2014 c1 13Revamp
So far, this story is pretty good. You had a nice, strong beginning and your characters are distinguishable with their own personalities and looks. I think you need a little more description in your characters and backgrounds but other than that, I don't see much else wrong besides the occasional grammatical and spelling error.
You have a nice little story here. Good job.
13RevampSo far, this story is pretty good. You had a nice, strong beginning and your characters are distinguishable with their own personalities and looks. I think you need a little more description in your characters and backgrounds but other than that, I don't see much else wrong besides the occasional grammatical and spelling error.
You have a nice little story here. Good job.
7/17/2013 c2 13creativesmarts
I felt so annoyed for him in the beginning, with his sister and his mom. I feel the same way about my younger sister as he does; she's so annoying, and I tell my friends they're lucky they don't have any siblings, but I'd be really sad if I didn't have her anyway.
This was a good chapter, I guess these two are going to become enemies soon...
I can't wait for the next update:)
P.S. You have a few typos, but nothing big.
13creativesmartsI felt so annoyed for him in the beginning, with his sister and his mom. I feel the same way about my younger sister as he does; she's so annoying, and I tell my friends they're lucky they don't have any siblings, but I'd be really sad if I didn't have her anyway.
This was a good chapter, I guess these two are going to become enemies soon...
I can't wait for the next update:)
P.S. You have a few typos, but nothing big.
7/17/2013 c1 creativesmarts
"He never wanted to live in this world in beginning" does that mean he was suicidal? Maybe I'm just thinking to much into it...
Anyway, I liked this chapter, it was sweet:)
"He never wanted to live in this world in beginning" does that mean he was suicidal? Maybe I'm just thinking to much into it...
Anyway, I liked this chapter, it was sweet:)
7/9/2013 c2 Funni Neko
Awww this chapter was cut an't to read more.
Awww this chapter was cut an't to read more.
7/7/2013 c1 Funni Neko
I really like the story it was very interestig
I really like the story it was very interestig